DISCLAIMER: We don't need no stinkin' disclaimer. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THE GIFT by TrexPhile September 1998 There are those who don't understand why I work at the Village. They say that I'm wasting my abilities, that I should find a more productive place in Celantai society. "How can you do such menial work night after night?" they ask in their singularly superior way. They don't know, of course, that I have The Gift. There are only a few of my acquaintances that know of The Gift and they still don't completely understand it. I don't expect them to, and I can forgive them their worried sympathy when they see me trudge tiredly home in the early morning hours. They don't realize that I am exhausted only in body, that my mind is refreshed, that I am floating on a sustaining cloud of exhilaration. You see, through The Gift I have managed something that very few Celantaii have ever managed, that very few could ever even imagine. I have experienced sexual ecstasy. Not directly, of course. I am using The Gift for insight into things that my ancestors could never have fathomed. After all, how can you understand sexuality when you have none? We Celantaii had no idea what we would find when we breached the boundary that separated us from the stars. There were those that said there was no other life out there, that the stars were dead. Others argued that there was life and we were destined to discover it. As for my own opinion, I stood equidistant between the two, hopeful but cautious. The optimistic ones were right, of course. There was life and it was everywhere we looked. We were not prepared, however, for how different that life would be. In fifty Federation years, we have encountered a dazzling array of differing cultures and moralities, the disparity sometimes difficult to comprehend. There is that one constant between them all, however, the one condition that we do not possess and sets us apart from them all. Most Celantaii are no longer fascinated at the other species' necessity for sexual union as a means of procreation. I've discovered that they feel superior about not having to join with another being to create offspring. Of course, Celantaii offspring are quite different from those we've seen among the others. Theirs are born weak and mewling and totally incapable of taking care of themselves. Which explains why their societies developed the family as a social unit, with a mother and a father to raise them and other offspring to be companions for them. And these relationships exhibit an intimacy that is so, well, alien to me. We don't have anything like that here. Each individual is just that -- an individual with no familial ties to any other Celantaii. The offspring we produce twice in each of our lifetimes hatches fully mature from the pod, with all the Memories already intact. There is no need for teaching them or rearing them. It's all very organized and efficient. You must understand -- we are not a loveless society. We have emotions, we can feel affection, even love. There are even those of us who form lifetime partnerships with another. We just don't express it in any physical way. We can't. Our bodies are not... equipped to do so. Some would say our way of loving is more pure, since there's no physicality involved -- that we can love the person for their mind and their soul and not mistake sensual pleasure for true love. Those Celantaii who say this don't have The Gift. I watch the customers as they arrive each night. I look for the new ones, the hesitant ones, those who may be unsure about just why they've come to The Village. I want to see how they respond, to see if they will open themselves up to the experience or turn away instead. When I find them -- and I always do -- I stay close by so that I can absorb their emotions, so I can feel their burgeoning desires. I no longer consider my way of life pathetic or desperate. I've finally accepted The Gift as just that -- something precious that should be treasured. I spotted them right away. They arrived together and were obviously a couple. I could tell by their stance, by the way they casually touched each other that they were intimate. Their misgivings were also easy to see, especially in the man. I figured that he would be the more reticent when I approached them in my professional capacity. I was surprised to find after speaking to them that she more guarded than he. I served them and then retreated into the shadows to watch them discard their inhibitions. Once they got up to dance, I could see that she was leading, that she was more eager to experience the eroticism. It took him a bit longer but she was quite adept at persuasion. I stood in the shadows and watched as the heat grew between them. They were beautiful, moving together as one, glowing in their rising passion. I wanted to feel it so I moved onto the floor, slipping between the other bodies. I made my way over to them, and then Serendipity began. I could feel his reluctance to continue when the lights went down and the mist began swirling. I pushed my way through until I was right behind the woman. I closed my eyes and opened The Gift. Feeling others' emotions is just a part of The Gift. In fact, it's not the major part. The Gift's true power lies in the images that arise in my mind when I focus on another person. Images that are colored by emotion. They can be stark and disturbing, or they can be soft and soothing. Or in these instances, vivid and revealing. I know that what I do is an intrusion, that I'm invading the most private of places. I've even forced myself to stay away, to simply serve my customers and leave them to their desires and their fantasies. I couldn't do it. I had to come back. I've become addicted, craving that which I can never have. I focused on her, slipping into her mind. The rush of sensation was overwhelming but I didn't pull away. Her passion was hard-edged, pulsing and insistent, building steadily. I allowed myself to press against her back as she moved against him, as she touched him. Through her, I saw his face, his naked body, his arousal. I felt her rising as he began to touch her, to tease her with his fingers. I couldn't help myself -- I had to touch her too. I drew my fingers up her the backs of her exposed thigh, feeding her passion and my own. And then she turned around. I drew back mentally and physically and touched his mind for a moment. He was seeing only her, feeling only her. I went back to her and once again shuddered with the impact. The images flowed through me so rapidly I had difficulty interpreting them. A bed, sun slanting through leaves, reflections of their faces in a mirror. I reached for her and touched her body and the images shifted. I could see other faces now, faces that flitted past quickly. A tall dark man, a fairer one with blue eyes, a smiling woman. I could barely see her face through the mist -- her head was thrown back, her lips parted. I leaned in, still caressing her, and kissed her lightly. She surprised me, nearly jolted me from her mind when she returned the kiss with great fervor, gripping my head. She was so very close to the edge and I touched her more urgently, let her kiss me, wanting it as much as she. The images swirled into pulsing flashes of color as she cried out. I pulled away from her body and slipped from her mind, the aftershocks of her ecstasy still lingering between us. I reached out to touch them once more, feeling the strength of their union, then relinquished the connection, giving them back their privacy. I saw them upstairs a little while later. This time I didn't intrude. I had experienced enough for the night. But I allowed myself to pass by them, to look at them as they held each other afterward. I wanted to remember what they looked like so that later in the darkness of my room I could feel them completely again as I recalled their passion. I don't think they saw me as I passed. They were aware of no one but each other, which is how it should be. I wish I could thank them, but that's impossible, of course. They will go on and I will stay... and in secret, I will treasure the gift that they have given me.