Chakotay lingered on the second level of the shuttle bay, watching for Captain Janeway to say good-bye to the admiral. He saw her reach the door to the shuttle, turning back to smile in response to something the admiral had said. He watched as she exited the shuttle, her smile fading quickly into a profound grief.

He waited for the captain to exit the bay, then made his way to the small shuttle.

“Admiral,” he said as he entered.

Admiral Janeway turned from the main console, surprise registering on her face. “Chakotay!”

Chakotay entered the shuttle and took a seat next to the older Janeway.

“We really haven’t had an opportunity to talk. I didn’t want you to leave the ship without saying good-bye.” He paused for several moments. “Kathryn,” he finally stammered.

Janeway could see the conflict etched on his face. To her surprise, he was upset by her decision to remain behind to cover their escape through the Borg hub.

“Why do I feel like I’m about to experience the Spanish Inquisition here,” she said, flashing a lop sided grin in his direction.

“Not an inquisition, really,” he said hesitantly. “I just need to know, Kathryn...how you really feel about me. I think that now is the correct time to ask this question.” He was incredibly nervous but Janeway could see he was determined to have it out with her.

“Maybe you should be asking the woman upstairs these questions,” she countered, trying to escape this final confrontation. The incredibly brave, intrepid Admiral Janeway, she thought to herself, afraid to face her best friend, afraid to face the truth....she would prefer to stare down the Borg queen.

“Perhaps, but I think you are in a unique position to answer this particular question.” He flashed his dark eyes at her, daring her to lie to him yet again. “Just how close do we get?”

The old admiral smiled cheekily, trying to keep the conversation light. “Close enough to know that this is not the first time that question has been asked between us.”

Chakotay realized he was holding his breath. “Kathryn,” he sighed finally, his eyes searching hers.

Janeway trembled at the sound of her name on his lips. She could not believe she could feel this way again. She turned her face from him, suddenly very aware of the age difference between them, embarrassed that he could still make her heart race uncontrollably.

Chakotay caressed her chin, raising her face to his. “I love you Kathryn. You know that our love transcends time. It makes no difference that you are a Kathryn from the future. You are my Kathryn, as much my Kathryn as the captain...maybe even more so,” he added, suddenly wondering if she was looking at him with the memories of a lover. “Nothing will ever change that!”

Janeway looked into his eyes, seeing the pain in them. She was an older, wizened Janeway, but she was still the woman he had loved for over seven years. He had come to say good-bye. She could see his desperation lying just under the surface.

He did not want to let her go. He took her face in his hands, brushing his lips against hers.  “Can you really leave without telling me how you feel?” he entreated. “This is your last mission. You and I both know you will not return.”

She saw his eyes mist over. God, how she loved him.

“Kathryn,” he said urgently, “let me show you how I feel. Give us this, at least.”

What was he proposing? He could not be serious. She had a good 20 years on him. How she wanted him, she realized.

“Chakotay,” she groaned. God, was that her voice?

He pulled her to him and kissed her, deeply, desperately. She felt herself responding, internal alarm klaxons blaring. He willed himself to slow down. She could sense the change in him. He suddenly realized that perhaps because of her age, he should temper his passion. Janeway admitted to herself she was not interested in the watered down version.

“Chakotay,” she said, drawing back from him. The love and anticipation she saw in his face made her feel so alive. She was unsure if she wanted to actually leave him. That was ludicrous, she thought to herself. He belonged to the captain. She knew it, he knew it. But she could have this, however fleeting. He was sending her off with a soldier’s farewell. He was offering himself to her. It was easier to face the Borg than the vulnerability she saw reflected in his face. She pulled him to her and kissed him desperately. She would have him. She would indulge herself one time, before she died. She desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, feel him pulsing, thrusting inside her.

Chakotay read her body language and lead her to the back of the shuttle, pulling her down on one of the padded sofas.

Suddenly his com badge activated. “Janeway to Chakotay.”

The admiral could not help but smile at the sound of her own voice. Chakotay took a second to get his breathing under control, the look on his face daring her to make a sound. “Chakotay here,” he finally managed to choke out.

“Commander?” Janeway asked. He sounded so strange.

“Yes, Captain.”

“You’re needed on the bridge.”

“Acknowledged,” he answered properly. He had no intention rushing off to the bridge. Admiral Janeway just looked at him amused.

“Admiral Janeway to Captain Janeway,” she initiated from her combadge.

“Go ahead, Admiral.”

“I’m going to run a few diagnostics on the equipment down here. I’ll let you know when I am ready to depart.”

“Understood,” her younger counterpart acknowledged.

“Is that what they’re calling it now.” Chakotay smiled. “In that case, I’d like to run a few diagnostics on your equipment as well.”

Janeway gulped back her smile when his face suddenly turned from playful innuendo to naked desire.

He started kissing her, fondling her breast. He was being far too gentle on her...for her.  “Chakotay, don’t worry about hurting me. I’m not that fragile. I want you. I want to see the you that you’ve kept hidden >from me for all these years.”

So, he thought to himself, this was their first time. He hesitated for an instant.

“Chakotay,” the admiral finally said. “If you have decided not to go through with this, if you are having second thoughts...” her voice trailed off.

She was giving him a way out. He was sending her off to certain death. He couldn’t let her go without showing her what she meant to him. He pulled her into a searing kiss.

This was the Chakotay she wanted. Just once, to feel his body surround, encase her in his warmth. She would gladly face the Borg if this was her reward. “I love you so, Chakotay.” she sighed.

They lay, satiated, contented to hold each other for however briefly. She kissed his lips, his eyes, the brow with the tattoo that had for so long invaded her dreams, both asleep and awake.

She finally looked deep into the brown eyes. She would give him this last parting gift. She smiled.

He braced himself. This was good-bye. She was leaving to face “god knows what.” His was crying, not even trying to hide his bitter disappointment of their short time together.

“I’ll give you a little inside information that you can thank me for long after this is over. Don’t let her keep you at arm’s length forever. All you need to do is take her in your arms and she will be yours forever.”

Chakotay’s smiled through the tears, kissed her tenderly. “Good-bye, Kathryn. I love you. I will always love you.”

He rose up, dressed slowly as Janeway watched him. His parting smile was a mixture of such joy and profound sorrow that Janeway was actually thankful she would not have long to relive over and over. There were very few constants in the universe; Chakotay’s love, she now acknowledged to herself, was one of them.

She dressed hurriedly, ran a quick system check and punched the small communicator on her chest. “OK, captain,” she said. Let’s do it!”