The Counselor
Author: Jett Wall (jettwall@home.com)
Part OneShe hated this, thanking what every force at work that it was almost over. Opening herself to the poking and prodding of analysis didn't sit well with her. She'd answered every question possible she thought. Yet she felt that the Counselor was still waiting, wanting her to give more. I don't know what the hell they want, I feel fine mentally and physically. Well, last session, they promised. I can be on my way home, wherever home is now. "Captain, you're right on time, please have a seat. May I get you a cup of coffee? Black, I believe?” The Counselor seemed just as eager to start and finish as she did. Taking a seat, she looked at Kathryn Janeway with eyes dark as night. Unreadable…emotions hide easy in depths such as those she smiled to herself. I remember his and how they would...Stop it, Kathryn. The Counselor looked up from pouring coffee and seemed to know every thought going through her mind. Okay you're just being paranoid, everything's fine. It's those damn eyes. "Well Kathryn…may I call you Kathryn? Captain seems so formal after all this time. I've gone over our last sessions and I must say for all that you've been through you are remarkable well adjusted! You have the respect and admiration of your crew who call you their hero. They can not thank you enough or sing your praises louder.” Taking a sip of the tea, the Counselor proceeded with what Kathryn hoped were the final the questions. She heard the soft honey voice ask. "I have just a few more questions. Tell me Kathryn, who did you lean on? Other than your senior staff, did you have any friends? The captain's chair is a lonely place. You are reported to be a very tactile person yet no one remembers seeing you allow anyone to touch you. I'm just curious as to who held you when you cried, if you did cry? Kathryn, did anyone touch you, not the captain, you the woman?” Fury flashed on Janeway's face that she quickly masked. Rising she walked to the window to look out on San Francisco Bay calming herself before answering. How many times did she need to be comforted? Be held as she cried. Her best friend was someone she couldn't allow any closer than protocol deemed respectable. I wanted so badly to tell you what you meant to me. You were so much more than my best friend… you were my love. "Counselor, you're out of line and so are those questions! Surely you realize I had to retain a certain command protocol as the captain. I couldn't just throw it all away just because we were stuck 70,000 lightyears from home. I had friends amongst the crew. Tuvok's a dear friend and has been one of my most trusted advisors for years. I also had the finest first officer in Starfleet. He is…was my best friend.” Hanging her head, she choked on her words saying. "Commander Chakotay was my support and my conscience many times. I couldn't imagine the journey without his steady presence at my side. I shared an incredible voyage with the most exciting man I ever met who challenged and supported me for seven long years. Yes Counselor, someone did touch me. Maybe not physically but I was touched. Touched to my soul, to my heart. Did I cry? Ha, right, starship captains aren't allowed to cry.” "I see… you know that's not really true. A Starship captain cries just like everyone else. You are not a selected group of demigods regardless of what they teach at the academy. Part of being a good captain is being able to feel emotions and to let them loose at times.” This said with a hint of wise humor. "Commander Chakotay, he is an exceptional man. Intelligent…spiritual…very handsome…almost beautiful. Did you ever tell him you felt this way?” Walking to Kathryn's side the Counselor laid a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face the dark questioning eyes. "Kathryn, did you ever tell him you loved him?” "Oh I'm sure that would have helped the command structure!” The Captain's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Chakotay, target that Borg cube and by the way I love you! Sure, every captain has that luxury. I had to get that ship home. I needed him as my CO. We couldn't be lovers. We couldn't afford to lose that edge. I couldn't afford to lose again.” Finally she admitted this out loud as the tears stung her eyes. "I cost my people seven years of their lives that I'll never be able to give back to them or him. He deserves to be happy and he has the chance now. You can't possible understand what it was to love someone so long, hoping that someday you would be able to share a normal life. No accolade will ever make up for not having him by my side. It's over, I have to let go.” Angrily swiping the tears on her sleeve she thought I hate this uniform, it's becoming my prison. Walking back to her seat she said. "So, are we done here? Am I fit for duty regardless of my unrequited love for my first officer?” "Kathryn, I do know what it's like to love someone a long time and feel defeated at every turn” the Counselor said as she handed her tissues "I know the whole protocol speech. I've waited twenty years for a certain captain to finally come around. Yes, I believe you are fit for duty as far as command regulations go. Especially now that you know it's okay to stop beating yourself up. You think you don't deserve some happiness, some peace? It's okay to let Captain Janeway rest and let Kathryn, the woman, out. You've taking an important step today and you need to see where this new journey leads you. Why don't we continue off the record, woman to woman? Have dinner with us tonight. I think after all these years you could use a little girl talk. When was the last time you let your hair down? Come on, sometimes you need to be silly and we're just the people to be silly with. After all, I think you'll find you have a lot in common with Bev and I. How about seven o'clock at Antonio's on the bay?” "That would be wonderful. Actually it's been seven years since I let my hair down. Probably why I've had a headache all this time. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to be a blubbering idiot at times.” Kathryn rose, straightened her uniform and walked to the door. Stopping she made a request. "No uniforms though, no titles, alright?” "My feelings exactly! Now if you'll excuse me I have one last session before I leave.” Her chocolate orbs smiled warmly. Kathryn was again reminded how like his they were as she closed the door. The Counselor hadn't realized that she was late for her next appointment. She hated to stop when she felt a breakthrough had been made. Tonight she would continue, not as a therapist but as a friend. Coding the file on Janeway, Kathryn as Return to Duty she rose from her desk to open the door leading to her outer-office. A tall man, with an intriguing tattoo greeted her. God, what a breathtakingly attractive man he was. She may not be able to read his mind but she could sense the longing in his soul, feel the hurt he buried under his calm demeanor. Yes this man could be a heartbreaker and he probably didn't even realize it. Oh if I weren't engaged she chuckled to herself. "Commander, please come in. I'm sorry I'm late but my last session ran over. Would you care for a cup of tea, I believe you like cream and two sugars? I think we should get right to it if you don't mind. I've review our last sessions and I just have a few more observation and questions. You're very fortunate to have such a spiritual center…to be able to visit your Spirit Guide for advice and support. Did you ever seek help from it about your feelings for your Captain? Tell me, when did you realize that you were in love with Kathryn?” Her empathic senses picked up confused turmoil along with a feeling of relief emanating from the former first officer of Voyager. Chakotay sighed. It would be a relief to finally speak of this to someone, aloud. Sinking into the seat across from her desk he ran his hand through his hair. Softly he began opening his soul to one he felt to be a kindred spirit. "I think I fell in love with Kathryn the first time she touched me…” His voice was like liquid velvet as he spoke her name. "She placed her hand on my chest to stop me from killing Tom Paris. Kathryn stopped the hatred with that one gesture and my life began anew.” This should be interesting she thought. Her eyes turn to the holoimage on her desk. Lovingly she spoke silently to the man pictured there. Let's hope that they don't wait twenty years like we did Imzadi. She heard his response along the bond they shared. You know I was worth the wait. Now stop undressing the man Counselor… for shame, you're engaged. Chuckling, Counselor Deanna Troi turned her attention back to the man across from her. He flashed that dimple smile that made even her heart flutter as he continued his tale of the woman who changed his future. Yes, very interesting indeed. Part TwoShe couldn't remember when she felt so comfortable. She loved the weekly dinners with these two. It was so wonderful to dine and talk without waiting for the klaxon to signaling some emergency. I never realized how much I missed this on Voyager. Deanna Troi kept her in stitches throughout dinner with tales from the Will Saga as she dubbed their long courtship. Her laughter was infectious and she kept the conversation fun. Intelligence and strength with a warped sense of humor made her more than a match for Captain William T. Riker. Deanna was very comfortable in her sexuality and her womanhood. Kathryn somewhat envied the exotic beauty her confidence. This had never really come easy to Captain Janeway. Chakotay has the same easy way with his sex appeal. Deanna was regaling them with the time she talked Will into shaving his beard when Kathryn noticed that Bev seemed to be only half listening to her friend. She was twirling her wine glass in her fingers as she serenely smiled at some far off memory. Doctor Beverly Crusher, tall and slender, strikingly beautiful with unusual coloring. What color are her eyes, blue or green? I bet there's a hell of a temper under that tranquil façade and that red hair. She had the wisdom that came from experiencing life's rewards and losses. Kathryn felt an immediate bond with the older woman. She joked about the early years of her marriage and what it was like to raise a son abroad Enterprise under the no nonsense rule of its captain. Beverly's voice spoke with quiet affection of Jean-Luc Picard. It was not so much what she said as how she said it. She loves him. Has she's ever told him? God we are pathetic, no wonder Deanna said we'd have a lot in common. Jean-Luc Picard, there were not enough words to describe the man much less the legend. How do you love a legend, do they love you back? Still, Beverly did not strike her as someone who did not enjoy life to the fullest. This woman would quietly lock on to her target and beam it aboard before it could raise shields. I've learned a lot from them. Maybe not how to realign the warp engines… but how to enjoy being a woman. She still had a hard time breaking command mode but tonight she was more relaxed than she'd been in years. It felt good to dress in soft clothes that clung to her body. She had applied her makeup using vibrant colors that compliment her eyes and the turquoise of her dress. California's sun had kissed her whole person leaving bright streaks in her auburn locks and a soft golden glow to her skin. This being the fringe benefit of months lying on the beach trying to decide her next move. She felt a twinge of uneasiness in the four-inch heels and the short backless dress. The dress showed a little more of her legs than she was use to showing. Deanna and Beverly assured her she look great. Truth be told she did kind of like the appreciative looks of the men as she cross the room to be seated. Even her EMH, who was waiting at the bar for his dinner date, gave her a wolf whistle that turned her cheeks red. She kissed him for the vote of confidence. She could have sworn he was blushing also. So I'm not tall, blond and buxom but I guess I'm not bad for forty-three. Stop feeling sorry for yourself Kathryn, you're never going to be twenty-nine again. However, tonight, she didn't feel quite ugly duckling. She was even considering going on her first real date in seven years with a professor Deanna had introduced her. He was smart with an easy charm. No fireworks, but she really didn't expect them anymore. He was safe for her first venture into the private world. She could take it easy, no strings. She still wasn't ready for she was in love with a legend of her own. "So… I had him grow it back when I realized the definite advantages that came with facial hair.” Deanna laughed then realized her two companions were lost in their own thoughts. Time to lighten the mood again. "Well, then I just threw him down on the dinner table and proceed to have the hottest night of sex ever! Right there on top of the chocolate mousse!” "Deanna…” Beverly chided, "Stop that, I get the point. You'll have poor Kathryn running for the door.” to Kathryn she said "She's just trying to remind us in her own perverted little way that we are not paying attention. Our lovely Counselor gets somewhat silly when she talks about Will. I believe he's a bad influence because she never used to be this twisted. Now she's set on making the whole world as giddy as she is. I can't image what it's going to be like when these two are finally married!” "Well I had to do something.” Deanna huffed "You both left awhile ago. Really ladies, it's a beautiful night, the view is spectacular and I'm not just talking about the scenery. There are some very nice looking men here who have been sending signals to you both all night, not to mention drinks!” gesturing to the large array of beverages at their table. "Surely there is something here to keep you from drifting off to the planet of self pity?” Again she managed to make them laugh as she wriggled her eyebrows nodding her head towards one of the officer who had just arrived. Deanna's face lit up the room as she blew a kiss to him. Kathryn laughingly thought she was crazy openly flirting with the man until she recognized Will Riker moving towards them. The smile on his face was devastating as he reached his fiancée and proceed to kiss her senseless. Once he had her totally melted in his arms he turned his attention to the others at the table. His fingers still interlaced with Deanna's. "Beverly…Kathryn so good to see you. God you both look beautiful!” He kissed both women on the cheek. "I'm meeting some friends here but I may change my plans. Why talk shop when you can share the company of two of the most beautiful creatures on the planet plus my enchanting bride to be.” He said kissing Deanna's hand. "This maybe the last time I can share such an evening before the noose is tighten.” Will made a gesture of choking, which brought giggles and a playful punch from his intended. "You two deserve each other, you are both incorrigible.” Bev laughed. "What will I do Will? I've held out hope all these years that you would suddenly turn to older women. Now I'm doomed to never know the charms of the Infamous William Riker! Oh my heart, how will I live?” batting her eyes for dramatic effect. "I guess I'll just have to keep listening to Deanna's stories of your sexual prowess and bedroom antics. We'll just have to keep living vicariously through her, won't we Kathryn?” "Deanna… Will said giving her his best shocked look "Shame on you all…you're Starfleet, where's your dignity? I'm just so disappoint that you ladies have nothing better to talk about than such a sexist topic!” Winking at Kathryn he said, "Bev, I think as the maid of honor you should sample the wares just to make sure your best friend isn't getting damaged goods. What about it Doctor, care to give the Counselor your medical opinion on the readiness of her husband to be? See if he measures up?” This set off another fit of laughter and more good-natured ribbing. Riker was just as charming and ruggedly handsome as Kathryn remembered. He still was very much the flirt, always would be, yet his heart belonged to the woman seated at his side. Even as he joked his hand never left hers, his eyes never straying too far from that delicate face. After all these years Will Riker finally felt he deserved her. His body language said he was never letting her get away again. The conversation carried on like this for another half hour before Will look towards the bar and waved. Following his glance Kathryn felt the floor fall out from under her. There at the bar was Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Commander Chakotay and on his arm, Seven Of Nine. Kathryn's first instinct was to run but one look at Beverly changed her mind. Bev was in battle stance and she was silently willing Kathryn to stand her ground. Deanna smiled reassuringly at them both as Will rose and cross the room to greet them. Breathe Kathryn…you knew you'd run into them somewhere. They made a striking couple, her Nordic beauty contrast with his darkness. He looked so peaceful and Seven had the look of satisfaction. His deep laughter floated across the room to seep into her heart. I haven't heard him laugh like that in along time. I am happy for him, for them. I'll recite this mantra all night if I have to, maybe I'll convince myself it's true. She watched the flicker of emotion cross Beverly's face as Jean-Luc broke from the group and marched to the table. "Deanna, lovely as usual. Kathryn you look ravishing!” He greeted them in his elegant style kissing their hands before turning to his CMO. "Doctor Crusher…I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner however I have a matter of ship's business I need to discuss with you. Could we meet at 0900 hours tomorrow?” He softened his tone as he searched her face. "I'm afraid I can't Captain, I won't be here tomorrow. I have a sailing engagement with Admiral Andrews. I could contact you when we return although if the weather holds we may be sailing overnight down the coast.” Beverly faced him defiantly daring him to protest as she slowly said every syllable. "My pardon Doctor. I would not want to intrude on your affair. Ladies if you will excuse me. Doctor when you can find the time then?” He retorted as he walked back to his party. "Alright Bev, what the hell was that all about? You wouldn't be caught dead in the same room as Andrews much less on an overnight cruise. You said he's all hands and a pig.” Deanna leaned across the table towards her friend. "You two are going to explode one of these days and kill each other. I've never met such hardheaded people. You both drive me crazy!” "Deanna sometimes our Captain just needs to be knock off his high-horse!” Bev's voice shook with anger. "Starship Captains with their stupid rules and regulations. What a bunch of morons. They wouldn't know love if it came up and slapped them in the head! Oh God, Kathryn I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that.” She stopped her tirade as she saw the look of hurt on her friends face. "See how mad he gets me. Now I've opened my mouth and inserted my foot. However, since I've brought it up, I think we should talk. Deanna can you give us a few minutes alone. It's time our friend here took control of her life. Go find that man of yours. While you're at it, calm Jean-Luc down until I'm ready to forgive him.” Counselor Troi left her friend to the guidance of someone who knew the other side of Starfleet protocol. She bet the Doctor would be reading her the riot act. Will and she had both been on the receiving end of her strong motherly advice and survived…barely. Well that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Sending a silent prayer of strength to Kathryn she glided across the floor into Will's arms. Whispering to Jean-Luc she had him smiling in no time, then he threw back his head and laughed uproariously. Beverly smiled in their direction. Leave it to Deanna to brighten any situation. You better know what you have there Will Riker and never hurt her or else. The torture that would be inflected on him floated in Bev's head. It was not a pretty sight for any man. Focusing back on the woman next to her she spoke in a tone she reserve only for wayward children. "Kathryn, I don't mean to be rude but I have to say this, are you out of your mind? Look at the man he's damn near perfection! I should know, I gave him his physical and he is…well never mind. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new. Well I could but that would be unethical unless you've seen him…” she stopped her teasing as Kathryn shook her head "Ah ha, you haven't. Well then is there something you're waiting for? I really must say I was almost unprofessional that's the effect he has. I found qualities in him that I thought were long dead in the male species. He's a throwback, deeply spiritual, cerebral and possessing just the right amount of acetic wit. Kathryn, don't wait. Tell him and screw regulations, it's worth it. Don't believe me, ask one of your fellow captains over there how delicious it can be to screw protocol.” Beverly smiled as she wiped a tear from the corner of Kathryn eye. "Bev, in case you haven't noticed he seems to have a growth attached to his arm.” The captain of Voyager reminded her dejectedly. "Well, fortunately for you… you have one of Starfleet's finest doctors as a friend! What say we cut it out before it takes root? In my medical opinion it doesn't look to deep. If it were the patient wouldn't have spent the last ten minutes undressing a woman he can only see from the back.” Doctor Crusher declared. Captain Janeway stopped wallowing in self-pity and raised her glass in salute. Her deep earthy laugh caused quite a few male heads to turn in admiration. One pair of dark eyes smoldered as he watched the male reaction to the sexy tone and the woman who emitted it. His face never betrayed his surprise upon hearing that laugh. A laugh he had carried in the secret depths of his heart for seven years. He too had appraised the lovely curves and the gold skin of the petite woman dining at Riker's table. She glowed in the candlelight and her auburn hair fell in soft curls about her shoulders. His eyes swept over her surprising long shapely legs. Only one person has legs like that…Kathryn. What the hell was she doing here and with Riker? He knew that they had gone through the academy together, that Riker had a reputation with the ladies but wasn't he engaged? Wasn't he involved with wait…yes Deanna Troi. He remembered seeing the holoimage on her desk. Why do I feel relief? Will came to greet them followed by his fiancée. He's one lucky bastard. The woman is incredible, she had them all at ease in a matter of seconds even Picard who had return from the table fuming. Seven, who had been quietly observing the interplay, searched the room. Suddenly her face flushed and she excused herself. Heading for a man in science blue she walked straight into his outstretch arms as Deanna stared open mouthed. Chakotay smiled watching Seven and Voyagers Doctor shyly kiss in public. Remembering her manners, Deanna excused her self and invited them to join her at her table. Yes, Imzadi, this is getting better by the minute. "Well Commander seems like your date has replaced you. What is it about balding men that has that effect on women?” Riker feigning innocence asked. "Care to enlighten us, Jean-Luc? I was never really partial to blondes Chakotay but she is really magnificent…” He stopped his joking when he realized it maybe a touchy subject. "It's alright Will. Seven certainly is one of a kind. She and Doc both are. Besides I never really had much luck with blondes.” He laughed then gazing at Kathryn's back he said. "Even less with redheads. "Redheads…infuriating creatures. Pure fire…my boy…pure fire. They'll drive you crazy with rage one minute and desire the next. They know it too. Yet, I couldn't imagine my life without a certain redhead by my side.” Picard waxed poetically "Take it from one who knows, the victories are well worth the battles!” "Commander…Will…the vultures are circling. I think it is time Starfleet intervened. He said nodding to the ladies in question who were being escorted on to the dance floor. "Oh by the way Will, haven't you ever heard the old saying…” Picard asked sheepishly. "Grass never grows on a busy street!” Will Riker was speechless for all of six seconds before he laughed out loud and slapped his former captain on the back. Pulling up a chair Chakotay join the men at the table where Deanna sat waiting for her friends to return. He watched as Kathryn's partner placed one large hand on the small of her naked back right above the curve of her really nice backside. Where else could he put it! She was all skin except for a strip of blue cloth! Where the hell was the rest of that dress? Spirits I hope it has a front. Must not be much the way the guy kept drooling down the front of her. Maybe he should have the waiter take him a bib to go along with that baby face of his. Where the hell is this anger coming from? At ease, you have no rights here he thought. She's Starfleet she can handle it. "Chakotay… Will Riker's voice brought him out of his musing, "our good Counselor here tells me she and her friend are responsible for the outfit our lovely captain is wearing. What do you think…against regulation? Somehow I can't see myself in that, colors all wrong for me.” "Be serious Will, she looks exquisite…don't embarrass her.” Deanna admonished. "Bev and I had a hard time convincing her to even wear it. That dress was made for a body like hers and it brings out the exact color...” "Of blue hidden in her eyes. You only catch it when she smiles or sometimes when she turns her head…” Chakotay caught him self as he realized three pairs of eyes were trained on him. "Sorry, it was my job to notice everything about my captain.” He tried to play it off with a shrug of his shoulder. Riker and Picard weren't about to let him down that easy. "I must say Number One I don't remember you ever being that observant of me. Do you even know what color my eyes are?” Picard asked raising his wine glass to his lips. "Uh, two? I was just glad they were in the right spot for a human. However if you had filled out a dress like that the bridge would have been a happier place for all.” This statement earned Will another playful slap from his intended. Chakotay felt he had given them enough to make sport of so he decided to just sit back and do what he did best…observe. Watching Picard as Beverly Crusher slid into the seat next to him it was evident that they loved each other. Electricity sparked between them threatening to ignite the room. Beverly's mystic beauty could make any man's head spin. His had when he first met her. She lean in to place a soft kiss on Picard's lips and you could see his posture relax. She was telling him in her own way that the game was almost over and to the victory would go the spoils. As she wiped her lipstick off his lips he caught her hand and brought it to his lips. Turning it over, he kissed the pulse point of her wrist. Picard's eyes conceded, telling her that the game was indeed over…Checkmate. Damn he's good thought the younger men at the table. "Commander, what a pleasure it is to see you again. I'm sure Kathryn will be so please to catch up on old times.” Beverly said "Deanna, I ran into James earlier. He said thank you again for the introduction to Kathryn. He's quite taken with her and can't wait for their dinner date.” If he doesn't move his hand I'm going to rip it off and beat him over the head with the bloody end. What was she talking about…Kathryn dating? Chakotay's attention was torn between the conversation at the table and the man swiping his hands all over his captain's butt. Remember, Commander, evaluation before reaction. He watched the man's hand slide further along her bottom and he made his decision. That's it…he's a dead man. Deanna and Beverly exchange satisfied glances as he excused himself and marched across the dance floor. Riker and Picard on the other hand recognized a fallen comrade when they saw one. Part Three"Sir, if you don't remove your hand I'm going to make it very uncomfortable for you to sit for the rest of the night, maybe longer.” Captain Janeway issued a final warning before she took action. She didn't get the chance, at her back stood her former first officer. The smile on his face was chilling. "Lieutenant, might I have a word with you, please?” He said. Taking the man off to one side he whispered something that had the officer's face turning chalk white. "Understood Commander. Captain, my apologies for offending you.” He bowed low then briskly walked to the exit. "Commander!” She laughed, staring after her fleeing partner. "Really, I am quite capable of taking care of myself. Just what did you say to that poor thing? I guess I should thank you although I'm sure I'll never get asked to dance again.” "I reminded him what my ancestors did to people who put their hands and eyes where they didn't belong.” His voice sounded evil and he seemed to have developed a new facial tick as he step into her space. "How are you Chakotay?” She whispered, instinctively reaching out to touch his face. She stopped herself before she gave into the urge to trace the lines on his brow. "Where is Seven, I just saw her a minute ago? I really would like to introduce you both to my dinner…” "Captain, please be quiet.” He said as he pulled her up against his body trying to shield her from view. One hand he placed in the middle of her back while the other captured her small fingers drawing them close to his chest and his heart. He was having trouble getting the thoughts and words together to speak…sputtering. "Where's the rest of that dress? Since when do you wear something so…damn don't you have a jacket or something you could put over it?” "Chakotay, what the hell are you doing…” Struggling against his chest she bellowed as she tried to break free. "I can't breathe dammit! Would you please loosen your grip? What about the way I'm dressed? I know I'm a little old for it but I did think I looked okay. Thanks for the vote of confidence FRIEND!” "That's not what I meant. You would look beautiful in sackcloth. I'm just not use to seeing so much of you on display! Look can we finish the dance. It's been a long time since I've had the pleasure and after all I did just rescue you…again.” The deep dimples flashed as he spoke. "How very gallant of you Commander, since you put it that.” Settling into his arms as if she were born to be there. "You think I'm beautiful?” She whispered raising her face to his. "Thank you, I really needed to hear that.” They danced in silence. No need to speak. Funny how even dancing she was so in tuned to his movements. The heat of his hand on her back caused the fire to flame elsewhere as he stroked her skin. He smelled of the outdoors after the rain. She loved the masculine smell and over the years would breathe deeply of it when they were together. Her fingers reached up to trace his ear then danced their way down to the back of his neck slipping under his collar to caress his skin. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she wanted this time. His shirt was open just enough for her to see his bronze skin, see the pulse beating at the base of his throat. She wanted to kiss it, to taste the salt of his skin just above his collarbone. She could feel his heart beating under the hand he held against his chest. The warmth of his breath touched her like tiny kisses as the music carried them. She could almost imagine that he loved her the way he molded her body to his. Only in her fevered dreams had they dance like this. Only there could she pretend it would last beyond the songs finally note. He was having a hard time and he meant that literal. The feel of her soft body against his was driving him crazy. Every time his rational mind told him to put distance between them his heart pulled her closer. Hell if he held her any closer he'd be inside her. Oh damn, why did I have to go there? he thought. Feeling again the tightening of his groin he wondered if she knew what she was doing to him. The way her hand stroking his neck sent shivers down his spine. Did she know the hand that rest between her breasts ached to touch their fullness? His other hand was getting dangerous close to grabbing that firm behind of hers. He had watched it strut in and out of his dreams for seven years. She rolled her hips in time to the music against his crotch. Erotic thoughts of her naked under him made it difficult to breathe. It's that damn dress and all that skin bringing fantasies he careful hid to life. If the dance didn't end soon he was going to have a problem getting back to the table. Kathryn's daydreams were interrupted by the sight of Seven of Nine waltzing by wrapped in the arms of the EMH. They looked blissful unaware of others in the room as he twirled her in his arms. Seven not to be outdone, dipped her partner low then snapped him back against her body. Smiling she place a kiss on his cheek that had him laughing lightly. My God, if he weren't a hologram he'd have a sprained back. I've never heard him laugh before, at least not like that. I swear they look like lovers. Seems like she needed to be brought up to date on a few developments. She smiled at them as they passed and nudged Chakotay for answers. Opening his obsidian eyes he glanced in the couples direction before looking back at the woman in his arms. The confusion on her face brought a slow grin to his. Nodding his head he did not elaborate on the subject now was not the time. It was however time to stop the seductive play of her hips before he finished undressing her on the dance floor. Of course leave it to Kathryn to take it the wrong way as hurt and self-doubt crossed her face. "Stop…don't Kathryn, I can't take anymore. Don't look at me like that, what the hell do you want me to do, take you right here in front of everyone? I just need to slow down because I…it has to be right, don't you see.” He closed his eyes then slowly continued "I'm really not doing this well. Look can we take a walk…the beach is right outside and I really need to clear my head. Come with me. Don't think…don't rationalize…just come with me Kathryn.” Holding out his hand he waited praying silently that she take the next step with him. She did. Looking up at him, she grasped the hand as if it were a lifeline. I don't know what to say to him, isn't that silly. I've waited seven years and I don't know what to say. Maybe for once you should just shut up and listen, really listen to him. Let him lead for a change because its now or never Kath old girl. Walking across the balcony Kathryn stopped. Using his shoulder to lean on she remove her heels and dangled them from her hand. Smiling he sat on the step to remove his shoes and socks then rolled his pants legs up to mid calf. Taking her hand again they walked in silence to the waters edge. The heat of the day had cooled yet the water was still warm as it rushed onto the beach and swirled around their feet. They watched each other under the cover of night. She marveled at the moons glow on his skin and the tiny lights reflect in his black eyes. He loved the way the soft evening wind blew her curls in wild disarray and molded her dress against her body. She didn't want to ruin the magic of the moment with words but she need to know what he was feeling. Stopping she tugged on his hand until he faced her. "Chakotay, I'm so sorry about you and Seven. Why didn't you call me? I thought we were friends, don't you know I will always be there for you?” Her eyes searched his face for signs of pain. She couldn't stand the thought of him in pain not after all she had put him through. She really didn't get a chance to see anything as he moved closer. Placing his hand under her chin he tilted her head back and captured her lips. Softly at first then hungrily he devoured her tasting for the first time the sweetness of her mouth. Pulling her against his body he held her tightly. She smelled of summer roses and her skin was like satin. He had wanted this for so long he couldn't get enough of the taste and feel of her, he might as well be drowning as he sunk deeper into her. Reaching up she ran her fingers through his hair pulling him closer as she suck greedily on his tongue. Our first kiss she thought and I'm going to die from the intensity. Pulling away she sank against his chest to gain some control. Feeling the pulse beating against her forehead she ran her tongue along the exposed skin of his chest licking her way up to his Adams apple then back down. She loved the salty taste of his skin as she kissed the small hollow at the base of his throat. Reaching up on tiptoes she traced the outline of his lips with her tongue bringing forth a deep groan from him as he kneaded the flesh of her backside. She felt his hardness against her pelvic as he raised her off the ground. Holding her against his body the fire was burning her alive, she needed him inside her. Not just for tonight but forever. "Chakotay, please…” she begged as felt him pulled away from her. "Kathryn, stop, this isn't the time or place. Damn, I had this big speech prepared but all I can say is…I love you. I have for along time. More importantly you are my best friend. I can't let go of you. I tried with Seven but we both knew it wasn't right. You stood right there between us. Are you ready to let US happen, Kathryn? I would say no rush but since we've played this game for seven years I don't know how long I can continue it. I want an answer because if it's yes there will be no more spouting Starfleet bullshit, no dates with James and no more dressing like this unless I'm by your side.” He warned. "I'm serious, I want forever. If you don't then we drop it now and we part.” He watched her face for any reaction to his ultimatum. You can't backout on me know Kathryn not after the way you just kissed me. That had to be real. "So lets see, my options are…I can start to date other men, continue to spout Starfleet bull…ah crap and dress like this or I can have the man I love by my side for the rest of my life? I don't know Commander it's really a tough decision. I think you need to remind me again why I should throw it all away on some Maquis rebel.” Placing her hand on his chest as she had over seven years ago she said. "I love you Chakotay. I swear I think I have from the first time I saw you on that view screen. I love your strength, your courage, the way you wouldn't let me get away with anything. I love that you look at life with such joy and that you drag me kicking and screaming along for the ride. I can't say I'm always crazy about your sick sense of humor but I'll put up with that too. I freely admit I need you in my life to keep me sane and stop me from… ” "If you want a counselor, see Deanna. I'm a man, Kathryn. A man who is asking the woman he loves to share his journey. I want to wake up each morning and go to sleep at night with you in my arms. I want to make love for hours…days…until they find our shriveled bodies with a smile they couldn't pry off our face. The gods know I've wanted to do that since I first met you. Even now, telling you finally of my feelings, all I can really think of is tearing that dress off you and taking you right here until you beg me to stop.” Placing his hand over hers he said. "I love you, even when you go crazy, I love you. I can't give you anything else but that, so do we go on together or do we end it now?” "You are never leaving me again Mr. Chakotay.” Kathryn encircled his waist as she pressed her body against his. "I only have one more question…was that a phaser in you pocket earlier or were you just happy to see me?” "KATHRYN! Who's been teaching you such things and how can I thank them?” he laughed. "You weren't my only counsel, my friend.” Placing kisses along the side of his face she whispered into his ear. "Have you ever thought of growing a beard?” Chakotay had no idea what she was talking about. It didn't matter…all that mattered was how she filled his arms and his life. There would even be time for getting her out of that dress later. Not very much later he thought. On the balcony Deanna Troi and Beverly Crusher shared secret smiles as they watched the couple return. Deanna would make sure she thanked Will later for his part in this. Oh how you will be thanked Imzadi! Will smiled at her then he and Jean-Luc raised their glasses in silent tribute to their comrade in arms for his battle was over and to the victor would go the spoils. They could only hope she would be gentle with him. Course then again…gentle in Picard's opinion, was vastly overrated. Redheads and passion…ahhh…but that's another story.
The End
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