This is my alternative to the fifth season finale of DS9. I refuse to accept that Dax and Worf are now engaged. Therefore, I did the only thing humanly possible: buried myself in a story to forget the horrors of reality. <Grin>

Oh, lets see. Rating would be most definitely PG-13. Things get pretty graphic here, violence wise. Also, there's implied sex between two consenting adults.

All characters are the property of Paramount. They are Benjamin Sisko, Major Kira, Worf, Odo, Miles O'Brien, Keiko O'Brien, Molly O'Brien, Kirayoshi O'Brien, Jadzia Dax, Julian Bashir, and Quark. I'm just borrowing them for my own personal use in this story. However, the story and situations therein are mine as is Merlysa Bashir and a handful of other unnamed characters that are the creation of MY mind, not TPTB. Comments are more than welcome. Please ask me first before sending this story to someone else, though. Also, there are several references to certain pieces of music. All these pieces were recorded by Journey. "Patiently" is copyrighted by Weedhigh-Nightmare Music (1978) with words and music by Steve Perry and Neil Schon. "After the Fall" is copyrighted by Twist and Shout Music, a division of Weedhigh-Nightmare Music (1982, 1983) and "Why Can't This Night Go On Forever" (1986) is copyrighted by Street Talk Tunes & Frisco Kid Music with words and music for both songs by Steve Perry and Jonathan Cain. No copyright infringement was intended.

I think that's all. Enjoy!

"Patiently"
by Catherine Henke

Chapter 1

Julian sighed and glanced around the tiny space on the Defiant called Sick Bay. 'It's a battle ship,' he reminded himself. 'In battle, one isn't as concerned with saving lives.' He smiled and shook his head slightly. 'I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Thank all the gods in the universe.' He stood up and stretched briefly and decided to head up to the bridge.

*******

"Defiant log, stardate 50956.2. Lieutenant Commander Worf in command.

Captain Sisko has ordered me to take the Defiant on a brief survey of the Cardassian border. There has been some unusual activity in this sector of space of late and the Captain decided that it would be in Bajor's greatest interest to 'show the flag.' I expect little trouble on this mission, however, the ship will remain on yellow alert as a precaution. End recording."

Worf turned to the helm. "Commander Dax, any change in the Jem'Hadar and Cardassian activity along the border?"

"None so far," she replied calmly. She glanced up briefly as Bashir stepped out of the turbolift and nodded at him. "Everything is quiet so far."

Worf turned to Bashir. "What is the status of Sick Bay?" he asked.

"Things are in order, albeit rather quiet. But we like it that way." He glanced up at the screen. "I take it all's quiet on the western front?" Worf shot Bashir a confused glance and he smiled. "An old terran phrase," he explained briefly. Suddenly a call came from the commsystem. "Krax to Worf." Krax was O'Brien's right hand man.

"Worf here," he replied.

"Sir, could you come down to the engine room for a moment? There's something we need you to look at."

"I'm on my way," he replied brusquely. "Commander Dax, you have the conn while I'm gone." Worf stood up and stepped towards the lift. Dax took his place in the command chair and glanced up at Julian and smiled as an ensign took the con. "All's quiet on the western front?' " she repeated, amused. Julian simply shrugged. Both their attention snapped forward as the proximity sensor went off.

"A Jem'Hadar warship is heading this way," the ensign announced. She studied the readout for a moment. "They're scanning us."

"Dax to Worf. Please report back up to...."

"They're powering up weapons!"

"Red alert!" Dax shouted. Julian headed towards the turbolift as the Defiant shook violently. A panel just to his left exploded, injuring the officer that occupied that spot. Bashir grabbed an emergency medkit as he heard Dax call out a command for evasive maneuvers. Her command was answered with the ensign's alarmed voice ring out saying that three more ships were on a direct course. Julian treated the fallen mans burns and stood as the Defiant rocked again. And again.

"The other three ships are firing!" the ensign shouted.

"Get us out of here!" Dax exclaimed. The ensign started to comply when another shot slammed into the ship. Panels all around the bridge exploded, one behind Julian. He was thrown forward by the blast and slammed against the deck. His vision exploded into bright red streaks on a black background. As his head cleared he pulled himself up. Immediately, he felt his stomach turn and a wave of acute pain and dizziness ran through him. Reflexively, he wretched. He could still hear fires blazing around the bridge. As his vision cleared again, he could see that most of the bridge crew had fallen, including Dax. She lay motionless on the floor. He dragged himself to her side, wincing in pain and suppressing the reflex to gag, pulling the medkit with him. He glanced up and surveyed the bridge quickly as he reached into the kit for a tricorder and realized he was the highest ranking officer standing. "Report!" he called out as he snapped the tricorder open.

"Four Jem'Hadar warships are surrounding us," came a weak response a few moments later. "We've lost all weapons capability and shields are down to 20%."

Julian studied the readouts on the tricorder and felt a slight panic set in. He needed to get her to Sick Bay now. "What are the warships doing?" he asked and tapped his commbadge. "Bashir to Sick Bay. Medical personnel needed on the bridge."

"They're just sitting there," came the astonished response.

Julian was fumbling in his medkit for a hypo and glanced up startled. "What's their weapon's status?"

"On standby." The smoke on the bridge had cleared enough for him to see the female lieutenant j.g. at the helm more clearly. Her face was bloody from a large gash over her eyebrow. Her expression was one of shock. An alert went off on her board and she glanced at it. As she saw the readout, she smiled slightly. "Six Klingon warships that were at the station are on their way. The Jem'Hadar are leaving."

Julian barely heard her report. He had been busy trying to stabilize Jadzia. He could see her vital signs slowly falling. He tapped his commbadge and injected a hypo. "Bashir to Worf. Report to the bridge." There was no response. Julian swallowed hard as he monitored her readouts. Nothing he did was working. Her pulse had dropped to 30 bpm and her blood pressure was almost non-existent. "No," he hissed and reached into the medkit again. He coughed and wiped at the blood on his forehead. He had no idea how he had gotten cut. 'Obviously when I fell but...*concentrate*!' He pulled out another hypo of cordrazine and injected it. He could see his hand shaking as he did so. A shrill alarm came from the tricorder. Julian snapped his attention to it. Her heart had stopped. Fighting back panic, he tried to resuscitate her but he couldn't move. As blackness began to claim him, he was vaguely aware of a swooshing sound. 'I'm sorry Jadzia,' he thought as he fell unconscious.

*******

Julian snapped upright in bed, gasping for air. He gazed around wildly, trying desperately to figure out why the room he was in was so familiar. 'You're in your own room,' came a slightly mocking voice and he relaxed. He couldn't even remember what the nightmare had been about. "Computer, time," he said softly.

"Oh, one thirty hours."

Taking a deep breath he looked around the quarters again. 'Wait a minute,' he thought. 'That doesn't belong there.' He suddenly felt movement next to him and turned, stunned. His surprise jumped exponentially as he saw who was next to him and realized at the same time that he was naked, as was the person next to him.

"Where in the hell...." In a voice thickly slurred from sleep, Jadzia Dax sat up slowly. She gazed around the room and her eyes came to rest on Julian's shocked expression. She gasped and practically fell out of the bed she backed away so quickly. She gathered the blankets on the bed up to her chest and stared at him in shock. "Julian! What are you doing here? Where in the hell am I?" Her gaze swung wildly around the room, her cheeks heating up.

Julian was slowly recovering from his shock and he shook his head. "I don't know. I don't even remember going to bed, much less...." His naturally dark skin darkened a shade.

Dax turned back to face him. "Don't even suggest it," she said. She shifted and wrapped the top blanket around her and got up. She didn't take her gaze off him as she did so, determined to keep his eyes on her face. Fortunately, his gaze didn't waver once. She glanced around the room. "I don't get it," she murmured to herself, walking over to the shelves in the room. "Some of these are mine, some look vaguely familiar, and some I've never seen before in my life."

Julian glanced to his right and spotted a pair of boxers on the floor. He pulled them on and stood up, moving to her side. "I was thinking the same thing," he murmured. Dax jumped slightly, her nerves somewhat raw. She met his gaze and whispered, "What the hell is happening?"

Julian shook his head and gestured to some small statues. "I don't know, but aren't those yours?" Dax nodded quietly. Julian swallowed hard, not even wanting to acknowledge what he thought had happened. "Jadzia..." he began but was interrupted by a soft sniffling sound coming from the door. They both spun to see a little girl standing there. "Mommy, I had a bad dream," she whimpered as she walked toward Dax. Jadzia froze, shocked. She could see the line of markings that ran down the side of her face and neck. She had blue eyes and curly dark hair. Julian felt his stomach bottom out as he knelt down in front of the little girl. "Why don't you tell me about it," he whispered, glancing briefly at Jadzia. She was staring, stunned. The little girl nodded quietly and whispered, "Okay, Daddy." Julian lifted her up and walked out, not even daring to glance back at Dax.

Dax stared after them, trying to regain her equilibrium. 'Mommy? Daddy?! This had got to be a dream.' She hunted around and found a simple nightgown and quickly pulled it on. She then walked over to the bed and sank down on it. She glanced at the night table as something caught her gaze. Two gold bands lay on it and a delicate ring with a average sized diamond lay nearby. Dax's eyes widened as she picked it up and studied it. Not wanting to, but knowing she had to, she slipped it on her left ring finger. It fit perfectly. 'No. Not a dream. A very strange nightmare.' She heard a soft gasp and glanced up. Julian was standing slightly inside the doorway, staring at her left hand. She swallowed and gazed at him. "I take it you recognize this," she said quietly, gesturing to the ring on her hand.

Julian nodded slowly and walked over as she slipped it off. He took it from her and glanced at the inside of the band. "It originally belonged to my great-great-great grandmother," he said quietly. He gestured to the inside of the band and she could see some engraving on it. "It's been passed through my family for hundreds of years." He didn't even try to hide the awe in his voice. "It's tradition for the oldest son to use it to propose...." His voice trailed off as she held up another ring for him to see. He took the simple band and slipped it on. "I hate to say this Jadzia but it looks like we're...."

"Married," she finished. Julian nodded slowly and took the ring off and set it back on the nightstand. He glanced at her and smiled slightly. She looked like she might be sick. "If it's any consolation, I don't remember anything either."

Dax glanced at him and sighed. "Julian, what exactly is happening here? I don't remember getting engaged or marrying you. Or having a child...I don't even know her name!"

"Marlysa," he replied. At Dax's wary glance he smiled. "There was pictures all around her room. She signs them." Dax shook her head slowly. Julian sank down next to her. "Well, why don't we try to figure out what happened?" Dax nodded and stood up quickly. She walked over to the terminal and tapped in her access code. "Computer, display my personnel file." The computer chirped an affirmative and her file scrolled down the screen. She studied the dates and stopped the playback. "According to this, we were married on stardate 52951.5." She glanced up at him. He was standing next to her, gazing at the screen. "Computer, what is today's date?"

"Stardate 57951.1"

Julian smiled slightly. "Five years. To the day."

"Happy anniversary," she murmured jokingly. "Computer, display current command staff." The names scrolled by. Everything was the same except one name. "Where's Worf?" she asked, quietly.

"Lieutenant Commander Worf was killed on stardate 50956.2 in a battle with the Jem'Hadar." Dax blanched and Julian lay a gentle hand on her shoulder. However, his mind was elsewhere. He had glimpses of smoke and fire. Panels exploding. Excruciating pain. Dax's body and the shrill whine of a tricorder in the background announcing that the patient's heart had stopped. Julian didn't even realize his grip had tightened on her shoulder until she yelped in pain. He jolted back to reality and glanced down at her. She was gazing up at him, concern apparent in her blue eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

Julian hesitated and nodded. "I think so. I'm beginning to remember things. Flashes. Bits and pieces. I think I remember the battle the computer mentioned."

Dax nodded quietly. "I'm afraid I'm not," she admitted.

Julian sighed and started to answer when a yawn broke through. It was contagious as Dax followed suit. Dax smiled slightly. "Why don't we get some sleep?" she suggested.

Julian nodded. "I'll go sleep on the couch," he offered.

Dax hesitated. "Julian, I don't know if that's a good idea...what if...Marlysa?" He nodded. "Wakes up? If she sees you on the couch, we're probably going to have to answer more questions...and we don't even have the answers to the ones we already have."

Julian gazed at her. "So what should we do?"

Dax hesitated again, longer this time. I can't believe I'm actually going to suggest this....' "I guess we'll both have to sleep in here." Julian's features filled with apprehension. Dax smiled at him. "We're both adults. We can manage."

"Are you sure?" he said softly. Dax nodded. They both hesitantly climbed back into bed, careful not to brush against the other. "Night," he whispered.

"Night," she replied. She sighed mentally and closed her eyes. ‘Don't dwell on it now. Maybe things will be clearer in the morning.'

Chapter 2

Julian stirred the next morning and opened his eyes. He found himself staring at the top of Dax's head, his arms wrapped securely around her. Startled, he jerked back, waking her in the process. Dax sat up, staring at him and rubbing the back of her head where he had accidentally pulled a hank of her hair. "Sorry," he murmured. "As often as I used to dream about it, I guess I'm not used to waking up next to you yet," he joked feebly.

Dax smiled slightly and shook her head. "Forget it," she said.

Julian glanced around and sighed. "So, now what?"

"Why don't we find out when we have to be at work. Computer, display work schedule for Commander Dax and Dr. Bashir." The computer sprang to life and showed her the requested data. "We both report at 0900," she said after a moment. Julian nodded and glanced at the chronometer. It was 0730. "Well, at least we didn't oversleep." Dax smiled and glanced towards the door. "Do you have any idea what we're going to do with Marlysa?"

Julian shook his head. "No, 'fraid not." He hesitated. "Why don't I call Chief O'Brien? We'll explain what happened and see if he can't help." Dax nodded. Julian tapped the commbadge that was sitting on the table. "Bashir to O'Brien."

"Hi Julian," came O'Brien's harried response. "Sorry about running late. Keiko will be over any minute to pick up Lysa."

"Oh," Julian responded, trying to keep his voice even. "Alright."

"Enjoy your day off. O'Brien out."

"Day off?" Julian asked, but the connection had already been cut. He glanced at Dax momentarily confused. Suddenly, he smiled. "Our anniversary," he said.

Dax hesitated and nodded. "I guess I'll get Lysa' dressed." Julian nodded and she walked out. He sighed and walked over to the terminal. "Computer, display personal journal entries for the last seven years, starting from stardate 50956.2."

"There are over five hundred entries found. Do you wish to narrow search parameters?"

Julian hesitated and then nodded. "Restrict search to any entry since stardate 50956.2 concerning Commander Dax."

The entries scrolled by. Julian bit his lip. There were still at least a hundred entries. Well, I've got the whole day,' he thought wryly. He was about to read the first one when the door chimed. He got up and walked into the main room, pulling on a robe as he went. "Come in," he called.

Keiko O'Brien walked in, smiling. "Hello Julian. Happy anniversary."

Julian smiled. "Thanks. Lysa should be ready..." The door to the other room slid open and the little girl bounced out, her dark hair falling in ringlets around her face making her look angelic. Jadzia followed and smiled at Keiko. "Hello," she said, walking over.

Keiko smiled. "Hello. Well, we'll be going," she said, taking Lysa's hand. "Enjoy yourselves," she smiled.

Julian nodded and the door slid shut. He sighed and glanced at Jadzia, who's cheeks were slightly pink. "Well, do you want to shower first or should I?" she asked.

"Go ahead," he replied, gesturing for her to head into the bedroom. "Just do me a favor and turn off the computer in the room." Jadzia smiled and walked in the room, the door sliding shut behind her. Julian sighed and called up the information he had been looking at on the computer terminal in the living room. He sank down on the couch and started to read entries at random.

**"Personal log, stardate 50963.5. I'm finally beginning to get some answers around here. When I first regained consciousness, no one would tell me anything. Whether they expected me to want to report back for duty if they told me, I don't know. To be honest, I don't think I would have wanted to. It's been over a week since the attack on the Defiant but it still hurts just to move around.

"I did find out, however, that the Defiant wasn't damaged beyond repair. The Chief is still working on it around the clock, though. The weapons system needed to be completely replaced and several other systems needed to be overhauled.

"I also found out that out of a crew of 50 people, 20 are dead and 15 more severely wounded. All that from a few strikes. Among the dead, however, is Commander Worf. However, Jadzia survived. Just as I passed out, the medical assistance I had called for arrived and managed to resuscitate her. I haven't seen her since the attack. I believe she's still in the infirmary. My assistant says that, when she found out two days ago that Worf had been killed, she had become very quiet. As of my last talk with my staff, I guess she's still rather uncommunicative, speaking only when spoken directly to. She's presently seeing the councilor, though. I just wish I could be there for her. There had been rumors floating around that Worf was considering proposing to her....I can't imagine how she must feel.

"I keep replaying what happened over again in my mind and I thank all the gods in the universe that she's alive, however. I can't imagine what this station would be like without her. Every time I imagine that she had been killed instead of Worf, it makes me almost physically ill.

"That's the thing that scares me the most, though, the severity of my reactions. If we are only good friends, which I've told myself over and over, why does the thought of living without her make me want to curl up and die? I've had a week to think about this and the only reason that I can come up with is that I care more for her than I ever thought was possible. However, I don't dare talk to her about how I feel. I love her."**

Julian sat back, stunned. He remembered the battle clearly now, but didn't remember anything past where he blacked out. He gazed at the last paragraph, especially the last sentence for several minutes. He didn't know what to think. He was startled out of his reverie as the doors to the bedroom opened and Dax walked out dressed in slacks and a blouse, her hair neatly pulled back. He smiled and casually turned the computer off. "My turn?" he asked.

Dax smiled and nodded. "It's all yours." Julian stood up and walked past her into the bedroom, lost in his thoughts. Dax got a cup of coffee from the replicator and sat down at the table. She recalled all the facts that she knew so far. She and Julian were married for five years, although neither of them could recall one second from them. Worf had been killed seven years ago in a battle with the Jem'Hadar....Dax closed her eyes and hung her head. She didn't know how to react to that piece of information. She didn't know if this was an alternate time line or if she and Julian had somehow been transported several years into the future...or the past. She couldn't remember anything either way. Judging from Julian's reaction, she'd wager the future...if that was the case. She lifted her head. "Computer, have there been any unexplained temporal anomalies in the past twenty four hours?"

"Working." There was a pause and then the computer responded. "There have been no reported temporal anomalies in the past twenty four hours, explained or unexplained." Dax sighed and glanced at the chronometer. She desperately wanted to go to her lab and run some scans to see if there was anything that could explain what happened. However, she had the feeling that if anyone saw her working today, she'd get some odd looks. I could always say we got into a fight...' She glanced towards the door and nodded decisively. She hunted up a PADD and typed a quick note to let Julian know where she had went and, if anyone asked, to explain that they had had a fight and she had left. She left it on the table and walked out.

*******

Julian stepped into the living room and glanced around. Jadzia was nowhere to be seen. He spotted a PADD on the table and walked over to read it.

Julian-

I went to the science lab to see if I could find any answers. If anyone asks why I'm working, I'm planning on saying we got into a fight and I needed some time to breath. I'll be back in a few hours.

-Jadzia

Julian raised an eyebrow and sighed. He got a cup of coffee from the replicator and sat down at the computer and began to read the other journal entries...

**"Personal log, stardate 51031.2

"It's been two months since the attack on the Defiant. Things are slowly starting to fall back into place. I'm back at work, thankfully. It brings some semblance of order.

Dax is also beginning to fall back in the swing of things. She has been back at work for about a week now. She's been seeing Telnory since the attack. He and I have been coordinating sessions as usual. She's still hurting, both physically and mentally. She and I had lunch the other day and she admitted that she tires very easily, that sometimes just walking from her quarters to the Promenade is enough to wear her out. I wish there was more I could do for her. It breaks my heart to see her like this. She hasn't talked much to me about Worf but Telnory tells me that she's still very affected by his death as she blames herself. I know that's a typical reaction but his death hadn't been much more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Telnory says she's making progress, though.

"I still haven't told her how I feel. I can't, really. She and I haven't talked at all about what happened that day. Neither of us wants to open old wounds...I'll have to be patient. These things take time."**

**"Personal log, stardate 51135.2.

"Today was Liberation Day on Bajor. The whole day was used as preparation for this evenings festivities. The station was even run on a skeleton crew, which is rare. The highlight of the night was when Kai Winn appeared before the people on Bajor. Those on the station watched the presentation by subspace. For all her protestations and false humility, Winn looked honestly joyful as she spoke to the people of Bajor. Amazingly, her speech was full of hope for the future, and she never once mentioned political subjects. The senior staff watched it in the briefing room before we all went to Quark's. I've never seen Kira so happy, or stunned.

"The highlight of Quark's was the dance. Jadzia and I went together, as neither of us wanted to go alone. A variety of music was being played, from modern Bajoran to old earth jazz and big band. We danced quite a bit. She never ceases to amaze me. I couldn't believe how well she knew some of the old songs from earth. There was one song, however, that caught my attention. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it. It was from an early 1980's by a rock group from San Francisco,' or that's how it was announced. The reason I remember it so well is it mirrored what I was feeling exactly. I think the line went something like "You mean more to me than I let you see." We were dancing at this point, talking quietly about nothing when that line caught my attention. I had glanced up towards the speakers, mildly surprised and then back at her...how lovely she was! How I wanted to tell her. I still don't know why I didn't then. Instead, I kept quiet. And Quark had the nerve to follow that song with "Why Can't This Night go on Forever" by the same group (see attached file). It was sheer torture to be so close to her and yet so far.

"Afterward that song ended, we left Quark's and went for a walk, enjoying the sights and sounds. Several couples walked along the Promenade, hand in hand. Imagine my surprise when she reached and took my hand. We paused at a viewport as the wormhole opened. I began to work up the nerve to tell her how I felt about her but she spoke up first. "Worf and I used to stop here occasionally," she had said. My resolve broke until I noticed her tone. It wasn't full of pain or depressed. Merely reminiscent. Slightly sad. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it and she smiled slightly and shook her head saying that I sounded like Telnory. Then she gazed at me and said that I looked like I wanted to talk about it. I nodded and, before I lost my courage, told her what had happened after she had been knocked unconscious. I told her everything, including how I felt. It was like a weight had been lifted from my chest. She had stood there, listening quietly. She didn't betray a hint of what she was feeling. The only acknowledgment to my confession was a slight widening of her blue eyes before she turned to look out the viewport.

"She never replied either. After a moment, we had continued walking and I dropped her off at her quarters before heading back here.... I'm afraid I've not only lost any chance with her now but hurt our friendship."**

Julian punched up the attachment and found himself staring at the lyrics to the song.

"Lost in twiligh, the memories, precious moments, you and me.
We've been old friends, all through the years. Picture postcards, sharing tears.
What's in our hearts, there's never time to say.
Need you tonight, lover don't fade away.
I've seen your city lights, as I walk away, why can't this night go on forever?

Without love we, we won't survive.
Run together, we rule the night.
Tell me secrets, that make you cry.
Where's the laughter, we gotta try.
What's in our hearts, there's never time to say.
Need you tonight, lover don't fade away.
Like a photograph, that time won't erase, why can't this night go on forever?"

*******

Jadzia stared at the screen as the data streamed in. After a moment, the computer beeped. "No anomalous readings in sector delta." Dax sighed. She was running a detailed analysis of the surrounding space, extending her search as far as Cardassian space. She shook her head. "Begin search of sector gamma." The computer started on its task as the door to her lab opened. Dax spun, startled. Julian walked in, hesitating just inside the doorway. "Julian," she said softly. "What are you doing here?"

The doors slid shut before he replied. "I needed a break and I figured you did also."

Dax smiled. "Well, I suppose. It's almost lunch after all." He nodded and walked in. She regarded his curiously. "Are you alright?"

Julian nodded, not looking at her. "Fine. I'm just frustrated."

"No anomalous readings in sector gamma," the computer said, interrupting them. Dax sighed and shook her head. Julian looked over at the screen. "Why are you scanning around the station?"

Dax glanced up at him. "What do you mean?"

"The battle took place by the Cardassian boarder," he replied, gesturing on the map. "If we're going to find anything, it would be along there."

Dax sighed. "I didn't know that. You never bothered to tell me." Julian flushed slightly and turned away. "I'm sorry," Dax murmured. "I didn't mean..."

"No, it's nothing. Never mind." Julian shook his head slowly. After having combed through at least a dozen entries, he was finding it difficult to simply look at her as a friend. Every time he looked at her, he remembered waking up last night or this morning next to her and found himself wondering what it would be like to do so under more...pleasant circumstances.

Dax studied his face for a moment before turning back towards the computer. "Alright. I'll have the computer scan the Cardassian boarder."

"From seven years ago," Julian spoke up quickly. "We don't know if it's changed since then." Dax nodded her agreement and programed the computer with the specifications. She stood up and stretched and walked over to the replicator. "What do you want for lunch?"

Julian shrugged. "Surprise me," he replied. Dax smiled and ordered them hasperat and walked back. "So what have you been doing?" she asked.

"Going over my personal journal entries," he replied, taking a bite.

Dax swallowed quickly. "Find anything?"

Julian shook his head. "Nothing that will help us figure out what's going on."

Dax nodded and smiled. "What about anything about us?" she asked, batting her lashes at him.

Julian flushed slightly. "Uh, nothing much beyond what we already know," he murmured.

Dax gazed at him. "Julian, are you sure you're okay?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. It's just," he took a deep breath. "I've been reading what this future version, or alternate version, of me wrote about you. About us." He glanced up at her. She was studying him intently. "It's a bit...disconcerting," he finished.

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly, setting her plate down.

Julian tried to look away but he found himself lost in her eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled her close and was kissing her tenderly. What surprised him more was that, after being initially surprised, she relaxed into the embrace, kissing him in return. Julian tightened the embrace, pulling her closer, not wanting to let her go. Suddenly, the computer broke in. "Search complete. Anomalous reading discovered in sector 014 of the Cardassian boarder." They broke apart, startled. Dax felt her cheeks heating up and she turned away to face the computer. "Analyze," she said quietly. There was a pause before the computer spoke up again. "Sensors indicate a rift in the space/time continuum."

Dax glanced over her shoulder at Julian. He was studying the readouts intently, deliberately avoiding her gaze. She bit her lip and turned back. "Theorize: If an object were to come from one side of the rift to this side, what are the chances of that object being replaced?"

There was a long pause. Julian held his breath. "There would be a 65% chance of the object returning to the proper time line." Dax hesitated and frowned softly. She picked up a tricorder and scanned herself and then picked up another one and scanned Julian. He studied her curiously as she picked up a third and scanned a piece of equipment. She compared the readings and shook her head. "This isn't our anomaly. We're in the right time line. I don't know why I didn't think of this before."

"Think of what?" he asked.

Dax glanced up at him. "Worf was involved in a cross dimensional rift once. I don't know all the details they were eventually able to send him back to the right time line by determining which one matched his quantum signature." Julian stared blankly at her. She smiled slightly. "The details aren't important. However, our quantum signatures are the same as everything else here. We belong in this time line."

Julian nodded quietly. "And the anomaly out there wouldn't cause us to move forward or backward in time but jump from parallel universe to universe."

Dax nodded. "However, the Captain should know about this right away."

Julian smiled slightly. "Alright. I suppose you're going to use our argument' as to why you were working in the first place."

Dax smiled. "Do you have a better idea?" He shook his head. "Let's go," she said.

Chapter 3

"What are you two doing here?" Kira glanced up at the couple, stunned.

"We need to see Captain Sisko about something," Dax replied. "It's a bit of an emergency."

Kira shook her head. "Alright. He's in his office." Dax smiled and she and Bashir walked up the stairs quickly. Kira heard Sisko's surprised exclamation at their entrance and smiled.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, staring at them.

Dax arched an eyebrow and sighed. "Well, I found some anomalous readings that I think you should know about."

Sisko stare bounced from Jadzia to Julian and back again. "How?"

"I was scanning the Cardassian boarder...."

"Why?!"

Dax hesitated and glanced at Julian, looking mildly abashed. "It's a long story, Benjamin. In any case, I found something that you should look at."

Sisko sighed. "Alright. What is it?" Dax called up the data and explained quickly. Sisko studied the data quickly and nodded. "Alright. So what do we do about it?"

"I'm not sure," Dax admitted. "I haven't had time to look at it...."

"Okay. I'll put the science officer on duty right on this. The two of you make yourselves scarce."

Dax smiled amusedly and nodded. She and Julian left Ops quickly. "So now what?" Julian asked on their way back to their quarters...’Our quarters. That's a strange thought.'

Dax shrugged. "I don't know. I have a feeling that if we try to contact anyone, we'll be shot on sight."

Julian nodded and glanced at her. "Jadzia, about what happened in the lab...."

Dax waved him off. "Don't worry about it. This is a...confusing situation."

"Actually, I wasn't apologizing," he said softly as the walked in the room. Dax stopped just inside the door. Julian sighed and turned to face her. "Jadzia, I've always cared about you a great deal. You know that. I've told you that more times than I can count." She started to speak up but he cut her off, gently placing his fingers on her lips. "And it took you almost dying for me to realize how much you mean to me. I love you."

Dax pulled back. "Are you saying that as Julian Bashir, my best friend for five years, or as Julian Bashir, my husband of five years? Julian, you're falling into a role that isn't you! How can you say...."

"This is me!" he said softly, intensely. "This is *us*! You said so yourself! How can you accuse me of trying to assume a role that isn't me when this is what my future will be seven years from, well, when we were transported forward?" His features took on a look of helplessness.

Dax shook her head. "The future isn't written in stone, Julian. Anything can happen now that we know this might happen."

Julian shook his head. "Everything in this future comes down to an event that's already happened." He glanced up at her. "I want you to read something," he whispered. He walked over to the computer and punched up several entries. He motioned for her to come over and read it. She walked over hesitatingly and sat down.

**"Personal log, stardate 50937.1

"I've finally managed to get a hold of a PADD so I can record this. No one here will tell me what is happening. It's not like I'm going to jump up and help them. I can't even move the pain is so bad.

"However, the physical pain is nothing compared to not knowing whether Jadzia made it. The last thing I remember is seeing the readout of the tricorder telling me her heart had stopped....And then not being able to do anything about it....that's far worse than any physical injury I could have sustained."**

**"Personal log, stardate 51895.2

"We're engaged! I can hardly believe it. Ever since the attack, I've wanted nothing more than to be with her, to tell her how I felt. And now we're going to be married!...Never in the history of the universe has anyone been this happy."**

**"Personal log, stardate 52437.3

"There's still no report from the Prague. I don't know what to think. Kira and Dax were due back three days ago... I'm beginning to fear the worst. I keep reliving those last moments on the Defiant, hearing the alarm, seeing her pulse drop to nothing.... Miles has been trying to keep me busy to take my mind of things but it's not doing much good. If she doesn't make it...I don't know what I'll do. Life without her is unfathomable." **

Dax turned off the computer, not wanting to read any more. Her hands were shaking so hard, she almost wasn't able to hit the command to deactivate the screen. She stared at the blank screen for a long time, not daring to look up.

"Jadzia?" She heard him whisper her name but she still didn't look up; she couldn't. Gods, he had meant every word. And I accused him of lying....' She hung her head, ashamed at how she had responded. He had poured his heart out to her and she had stomped on it. She felt a gentle hand raise her chin and she found herself staring into his dark eyes. She felt tears well up and tried to turn away before they escaped but she didn't make it and two tears slid down her cheeks. Julian leaned in and gently kissed them away, his free hand gently smoothing her hair back. He slowly brushed his lips across her cheek until they found hers. She leaned against him, lost in his touch. She felt his hands slide around her back, pulling her close. She kissed him back passionately, not wanting it to end. After several minutes, he pulled back slightly and gazed at her, his heart in his soft brown eyes. Dax felt tears well up again and she kissed him again, slowly pulling him towards the bedroom.

*******

Julian lay next to her, his left arm wrapped around her, holding her close. He could feel Jadzia's breathing, even and strong, against his chest. He smiled slightly and glanced down at her. Her eyes were closed and a slight smile creased her Hellenesque features into one of happiness. Julian gently brushed a lock of hair of her forehead. She stirred slightly at his touch but didn't wake. 'How I wish this would last forever,' he thought wistfully. However he knew that they would eventually have to return to their proper time, probably forgetting all that had occurred here. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. He knew she was right in that anything could happen in the future and that this particular one might not come true. He prayed that it would and that he would have the patience to wait. 'Until then,' he thought and kissed the top of her head.

*******

Jadzia stirred early the next morning and gazed at his still form. She smiled and sat up. She supposed they would have to go back to work today. 'I can use the time to find a way to send us back.' Her gaze caught the wedding bands and engagement ring still laying where they had set them two nights ago. 'I'm surprised no one noticed yesterday that we didn't have them on,' she thought. She cast a wistful glance back at Julian. 'Seven years,' she thought. 'I hope I can wait that long.' She got up and went into the shower.

After she had showered and dressed, she walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. 'Well, yesterday they might not have noticed but I think they would today.' She reached and picked up the smaller of the two wedding rings and slid it on her hand, followed by the engagement ring. She stared for a moment at her left hand. After a moment, she took the engagement ring off and glanced at the engravement on the inside. Along the back of the band were a list of initials, the most recent were J&J.

*******

Jadzia sighed softly as she walked back to their quarters. She had started to head to her 'old' quarters before remembering that she was now living with Julian.... 'You can't think of it like that. When you get back to your original time, you won't remember any of this. No point in growing too attached right now...'

She stepped in the door and looked around. She heard laughter coming from behind the couch. "Julian?" She walked over and saw Julian laying on his back, Lysa covering his mouth and giggling. Dax could see his brown eyes smiling at her over the little hand. Dax forced a smile onto her face and shook her head. "You weren't trying to surprise me, were you?"

Lysa giggled and released her hold on her 'father' and threw her arms around her 'mother's' legs. "Mommy! You're home! Come see what I drew today!!"

Jadzia smiled slightly. "In a bit, okay? Let me get changed." Lysa nodded and darted into her room to gather up her artwork.

Julian leaned back against the couch and glanced up at her. "Bad day?" he asked.

Jadzia sighed and shook her head, walking into the bedroom. "No. Not really. I'm just frustrated. I can't find anything that would even give us a clue as to why we're here."

Julian walked in the room, absently twisting the band on his left hand. He had been doing that all day, not being used to the feeling. "Well, don't let it get to you," he started when Dax whirled around.

"What do you mean?! This isn't supposed to be happening! How can you tell me to not let it get to me?! And how can you go around pretending that Lysa's you're daughter?!"

"Because she is," he replied quietly. "At least for now. I don't see any point in pretending otherwise. And keep your voice down. We don't want her to hear this."

"What, you think we don't argue seven years from...our time?!"

"I'm not saying that! I'm sure we do, but not about this! Do *you* want to explain to a three year old that we're not really her parents? At least, not yet." His voice was deathly quiet, but he still managed to convey his anger. "Besides, have you even spent any time with her? It's hard not to care about her like she's your own."

Dax faced him. "That's my point. I don't want to grow too attached to anything or anyone here. Neither of us will remember this. There's no point to it."

"Even me?"

Dax's eyes widened. She sank down on the bed, stunned. "I...don't know. To be honest, I...I'm not sure last night should have happened. I've had all day to think about this and...I think getting involved now would just complicate matters more than they already are."

Julian gazed at her for a long time. "How can you say that? Jesus, Dax." He paused, weighing his words. "I don't see the problem. If we aren't going to remember what's happened, how can you even worry about getting attached and complications?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll get too attached," she replied quietly. "Hell, I'm afraid I already am."

Julian knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. "Jadzia, you and I both know that, when it comes down to it, you'll do whatever's right in the end. That will mean leaving this behind." He reached up and gently brushed at her cheek. "Personally, I'd like to keep a few memories to keep me warm at night for the next couple of years." Dax glanced at him, her cheeks flushing. He smiled slightly and gave her hands a squeeze. "Look. We have no choice in the matter but to pretend that everything is normal. And it'll be impossible to try not to get attached and used to this. You'll drive yourself crazy trying not to."

Dax sighed and nodded. He leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the forehead. "Get changed. Believe it or not, we've got dinner at the O'Brien's tonight."

Dax glanced up startled. "When did you find this out....Or did you arrange it?"

Julian frowned at her. "Miles called me today to double check if we were still coming. You know I wouldn't make plans without checking with you first," he grinned, walking out of the bedroom.

"Don't push it, mister," she called. Julian laughed and got a glass of water from the replicator. He saw Lysa poke her head out from her room. "Are you and mommy still fighting?" she asked.

Julian froze. "No, we're not," he answered after a moment. "I'm sorry," he apologized to the little girl. "I know you don't like it when we fight."

Lysa nodded and gave him a hug. Julian gently hugged her back.

Dax gazed at them from the doorway, her emotions roiling.

Chapter 4

Julian tapped on the door control, announcing his and Jadzia's arrival. Jadzia was holding Lysa's hand, standing next to him. The door opened to reveal Miles' smiling face. "Hello. Come in." Julian smiled and stepped through the door, Dax a half step behind. Lysa let go of Dax's hand and darted into Yoshi's room to play.

"Where's Keiko?" Dax asked, glancing around.

"In with Yoshi and Molly," Miles replied. Dax smiled and nodded at them, following Lysa into the bedroom. Julian watched her go.

"You two fighting again?" Miles asked quietly.

Julian sighed and nodded before his mind latched onto something. "Again?" he asked, forgetting himself.

Miles shot him an odd look. "Yeah, you know. As in like, once more, the two of you are fighting."

Julian stared at him, trying to hide his shock. "Well, I suppose. It was just a small argument really."

"Did Lysa hear you two?"

Julian nodded again, glancing after them. "Yeah. Not much though." He paused, wondering how to get more information out of him. "I can't even remember what our last argument was about," he said, hoping Miles would tell him.

"Worf," Miles replied, matter-o-factly. "What else?"

'Worf?' Julian thought. 'Worf's dead in this time. Why....' He glanced at Miles, wondering if he should tell his friend what was really happening. "Right," Julian murmured. "How could I forget?"

Dax and Keiko walked out, chatting energetically. Julian smiled slightly. Dax glanced at him and beamed. "What?" she asked as she walked over and slipped an arm around his waist. Julian's smile broadened. "Nothing," he replied, hugging her slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Miles and Keiko share a conspiratorial smile. Suddenly, there was a shout from the kids room and they tore out, Lysa darting behind the couch and Yoshi and Molly following. Lysa immediately ran out from behind the couch and darted back into the bedroom. The other two kids followed. All four adults watched, baffled. "Must be a new game someone invented," Keiko said after a moment. The scene repeated itself again, this time Yoshi ran out first. Dax shook her head, amused and turned back to the others. "So, what's for dinner?" she asked, catching a whiff of a deliciously aromatic dish. Keiko produced a tray of salmon on it, garnished with all sorts of herbs. Dax's grin widened. "That looks delicious," she said as they sat down. Miles had rounded up the kids and was seating them at the table. Keiko served everyone and they enjoyed the meal. As soon as the kids were done, they tore off to Molly's room again. After dinner, the two couples sat on the couch and talked about recent going-ons on the station. Or at least Miles and Keiko talked. Julian and Jadzia listened for the most part, jumping in where possible. After a while, Julian and Jadzia got up to go, saying that since Lysa had been up late the past couple of days she should get to bed. The O'Brien's nodded and bid them goodbye.

When they got back to their quarters, Julian quickly put Lysa down to bed and walked back out to the living room. Dax was sitting on the couch, sipping a raktagino. She glanced up and smiled at him. "Hey," she said softly, patting the space next to her. Julian smiled and sat down. "Well, that was interesting, trying to dodge questions," she said softly, wrapping an arm around his.

Julian nodded and gazed off into space. "Did you know we've been fighting a lot?" he asked after a moment.

Dax glanced at him, smiling crookedly. "What, you mean earlier? I don't think...."

"No, I mean our future selves have been fighting a lot." He turned his head and gazed into her blue eyes.

Dax raised an eyebrow. "No, I didn't. What makes you say that?"

"Miles. When you went to find Keiko, he asked if we had been fighting again."

Dax blew her breath out. "Oh. Were you able to find out what about?"

Julian sighed. "My understanding of the conversation was that it has something to do with Worf."

"Worf?" Dax breathed. "But he's..."

"Dead. Yeah, I know." He got up and walked over to the computer and pulled up his journal entries. He read for a while before turning back to Dax. "Well, according to me, you've been awfully moody lately. I've basically written it off to the fact that the last couple of months have been very stressful and that the seventh anniversary of the Battle of Daraith is coming up and you always become upset around this time of year."

Dax studied him and nodded. "Worf," she sighed. "Well, looks like we don't have the picture perfect marriage after all."

Julian nodded and frowned. "Dax, what if we've been going about this the wrong way?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What if we passed through some sort of event horizon that brought us to this specific point in our future for a reason?"

Dax shook her head. "I've never heard of that happening," she murmured. "Going into the past, yes. Worf mentioned something like that happening on the Enterprise."

"Where they traveled back to 19th century earth because something would happen to Data there that would cause him to lose his head." Dax glanced at him startled. "Data told me about it," he said. She nodded. "But just because it's never been reported doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Or that it can't."

Dax sighed and frowned. "Alright. Suppose you're right. What is it that we're supposed to do?"

Julian shook his head. "I don't know." He paused. "I'm going to take tomorrow off so I can pour through these journal entries." He glanced up at her. "Maybe you should too."

Dax nodded. "Alright," she sighed. She glanced at the chronometer. "I'm going to bed, though." She smiled teasingly at him. "Coming?"

Julian smirked. "Later. I'm not tired right now."

Dax slid closer to him. "Who said anything about sleeping?"

Julian turned, mildly surprised. "What happened to not wanting to get attached and 'Last night was a bad idea,'?"

"I never said that it was. I just said that I wasn't sure it should have happened." Dax sighed softly. "Never mind." She pulled away and stood up. "Good night, Julian."

"Good night, Dax," he replied softly, watching her retreat. He was already beginning to regret what he said but there was no taking it back now. He leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He had to admit, he had been hurt at her words earlier. He knew that throwing her words back in her face was simply retaliation to that. 'No wonder we're having problems...' he thought unhappily. He stretched out on the couch and pulled the blanket over him. He didn't want to be near her tonight and, in light of things, Lysa seeing him on the couch probably wasn't a new idea.

*******

Dax gazed up at the ceiling. She had been reading for hours, hoping Julian would come in so they could talk. She hadn't wanted to go back out though. It was now 0130. She sighed and swallowed her pride and got up out of bed. As she walked out into the living room, she could see Julian asleep on the couch. Dax bit her lip and walked over. She knelt on the floor in front of him, gazing at him. She felt the now familiar swirl of emotions: confusion, clarity, confidence, fear, adoration. 'What is wrong with me?' she though. 'Why can't I sort this out?' She reached out and gently brushed at his cheek. He stirred slightly and she froze. Unfortunately, he opened his eyes to look at her before she could mask her emotions. "Jadzia?" he whispered, studying her face.

She hesitated, studying him in return. After a moment, she smiled slightly. "I was just wondering if you were going to come to bed."

Julian gazed at her. "You woke me up to see if I was going to go to sleep?"

She bit her lip and glanced away. "Well, no. I didn't mean to wake you up. I didn't know you were asleep. I just...." She could feel her cheeks heat up and wasn't entirely sure why. Until she realized her hand was still resting on his cheek and he was gently kissing her wrist. She glanced back at him. His eyes met hers and he pulled her close. As their lips met, Dax slid up on the couch, perching next to him. After a long moment, he pulled away, gently running his thumb along her cheekbone. "You just what?" he asked quietly.

Dax gazed at him, mildly startled. "What?"

Julian smiled and sat up, pulling her close. "Never mind. Come on, let's go to bed." He stood, pulling her up. Dax smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm really not tired," she purred.

Julian grinned. "Who said anything about sleep?" Dax laughed softly and kissed him passionately. Julian slid his arms around her, savoring the softness of the nightgown she had put on and the curves under it. He pulled back and swept her up into his arms. Dax couldn't help but gasp in surprise and delight. "Julian," she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I..." He cut her off quickly, kissing her tenderly. Dax leaned into the kiss as best she could. She could barely tell he was walking towards the bedroom, except for the feeling of air running over her bare legs. She pulled back and smiled at him. "I take it I'm forgiven for earlier," she murmured.

Julian smiled and gently set her on the bed. "Only if you really didn't mean it," he whispered, suddenly serious. Dax practically kicked herself for bringing it up. She gazed at him, feeling her confusion return. "I don't know," she admitted. "This whole situation has me so confused..."

Julian bit his lip, glancing away. "Look, Dax. I know this is disorienting, and I have to admit, I've fallen in love with the idea of this being reality." He glanced back at her. "But I've felt this way about you for years, Jadzia. And I don't want to cheapen that. I need to know that this isn't just one sided."

Dax looked away for a moment, trying to think. She glanced back at him and sighed softly. "Julian...I don't know. I do care about you very much, which is why I'm being honest. If it was simply one sided, I could simply lie to you, profess my undying love for you, knowing neither of us wouldn't remember this when we return, but I can't. I respect you...us...too much to do that."

Julian gazed at her, smiling softly. "Thank you," he whispered, tenderly running his hand down the markings to where they disappeared beneath the gown. "I appreciate your honesty. I do love you Jadzia. More than anything."

Dax closed her eyes. "Julian, unless you want me to take back everything I said, please stop," she whispered. Julian hesitated and then smiled, gently pulling his hand away. Dax smiled slightly in return. "Bed?" she asked. Julian nodded and stood up to change. Dax leaned back and closed her eyes. She felt him slip under the covers next to her and slide close. Jadzia glanced at him and smiled. "Night," she whispered. Julian kissed her gently. "Good night, love." She smiled and closed her eyes, wrapping one arm around his chest.

*******

**"Personal log, stardate 50960.3

"Councillor Telnory said that I should record a log entry regarding the battle every day as part of my therapy. I don't know what good it will do. He says that it's usually easier to record things in a personal log than it is to tell a councilor or a friend. He's probably right.

"It's been four days since the battle. I'm still in the infirmary. However, I'm in a semi-private room where I can meet with Telnory daily to 'discuss things'.

"I'm told Julian's still here also. He was injured badly during the attack, and, according to Lt. Sintah's report, he managed to keep things in tact while reenforcements arrived while trying to keep me alive...

"I don't know what else to say. I know why Telnory wants me to do this but I don't want to talk about...him. Not yet."

**"Personal log, stardate 50996.2

"Had another session with Telnory today. He said that he had been talking with Julian about my progress, 'or lack thereof' as he put it. I don't know what he wants from me sometimes. It's been a month since the battle and since Worf died. I feel I've worked past things, or at least the initial grief and guilt. I know that there was nothing I could have done differently. As a joined Trill, one learns to come to terms with the past and move on. However, Telnory keeps bringing this up. Living in the past isn't healthy for anyone but especially for Trills. Perhaps I should talk to Julian about this."

**"Personal log, stardate 51135.2

"Today was Liberation day. It was an...interesting evening to say the least. The celebration was wonderful. Julian and I went to Quark's after Winn's speech for the dance. Quark was playing all kinds of music. I'll never forget the look on Julian's face when I was able to pick out some of Terra's old swing music!...

"What am I going to do? After the dance, he and I went for a walk to relax. Quark's had become very loud and very crowded and we both wanted to escape. However, we were standing at a viewport that Worf and I used to stop at occasionally, and I mentioned that. Julian asked me if I wanted to talk about it, to which I replied that he sounded like Telnory. Then I got a good look at him. He was upset, for no apparent reason, or so I thought. So I asked him if he wanted to talk. He had nodded and then proceeded to tell me everything that happened after the battle....and said that, because of what happened, he had realized how much I meant to him and how he couldn't bear to think of what would have happened if I had died...and that he loves me... I couldn't say anything. I guess I was too shocked. He hadn't given any indication of this in the last few months. I simply turned away and looked out the viewport and we eventually walked off to the habitat ring and said goodnight. I still don't know what to think. I do care about him very much. He's a dear friend but am I in love with him? I don't know.

Regardless of how I feel, I think how I initially reacted hurt him quite a bit. He had opened up to me and all I did was turn away from him. I'm afraid that, if I find out that I do love him, I'll have already ruined any chance I had, not to mention our friendship."**

Dax sat back, gazing at the viewscreen. She glanced over at Julian, who was reading on the couch. "Find anything?"

Julian shook his head. "Nothing of significance," he replied. "Things have been generally tense between the two of us around this time of year but, if I'm reading this correctly, this is the worst it's been." He glanced up at her. "How about you?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly. She hadn't been reading any of her recent entries yet. Dax casually hit a button and skipped ahead several years.

** "Personal log, stardate 54005.3

"I'm pregnant!!! Of all the wonderful news...I can't wait to tell Julian. He's wanted this as much as I have. We've been trying for months and now.... He's home!!"

** "Personal log, stardate 54321.2

"Six months already have past. I can't believe how quickly this has gone by. Granted it wasn't quick enough some days when my back hurts too much or I snap at everyone but....

"Julian's been wonderful so far. He tried to smother me at first but he quickly learned that I didn't appreciate it. However, he's put up with all my complaining and snapping so far with nothing less than an affectionate smile. I'll have to thank him as soon as I can reach him again! Even he's said that I'm big for six months, especially considering Trills carry for ten. But he swears we aren't having twins. 'Just one healthy girl,' he keeps saying, always with that same smile that I've seen since I first told him."

** "Personal log, stardate xxxxx.x

"Marlysa Shane. She's absolutely beautiful. She had Julian's dark hair and nose, my eyes (and spots)...

"I scared Julian out of his mind when I walked into the infirmary yesterday. I am two months early and he had been worried about my pregnancy from day one because there are so few human/trill children. Neither of us knew what to expect. But she's here and she's healthy...<soft crying heard in the background>..And hungry."

Dax bit back laughter. Julian glanced up at her, curious. "It's nothing," Dax grinned at him. "I'm just remarkably funny, that's all." Julian chuckled and glanced back at his screen. Dax gazed at him, enjoying the sound of his soft laughter. 'How come I never noticed that before?' she thought. 'How come I never noticed *him* before?'

Chapter 5

Dax turned off the terminal and stretched. "What time is it?" she asked.

"Seventeen hundred," Julian replied.

Dax winced and stood up. "How about dinner."

"Now?" Julian asked, surprised.

"Mm hmm. Why don't we go to Quark's?"

Julian glanced back at the computer and quickly bookmarked where he was. "Alright." They walked out and over to the Promenade in silence. At Quark's, Julian asked for a private booth. Quark gave him a knowing look, which Julian ignored. He and Jadzia were seated quickly and the privacy bubble activated as soon as their orders were taken and delivered.

"So, have you found anything?" Julian asked quietly.

Dax took a deep breath and nodded. "If I were a psychiatrist, I'd be having a field day with myself." Julian arched an amused brow, his face remaining serious. "I don't think I ever dealt with Worf's death," Dax said quietly. Julian gazed at her, reaching for her hand. "I don't doubt that I, or, this future me is in love with your future self," she continued, "but after the battle, I simply closed that part of me off. Now it's coming back to haunt me, us."

Julian gently squeezed her hands. "I, er, my future self came up with the same conclusion. I've tried to talk to you about it several times but you don't want to talk."

Dax sighed softly. "None of this answers why we're here." Julian sighed and shook his head, gazing down at their hands. "Maybe we should tell someone," Dax said quietly.

Julian nodded slowly. "Maybe. But to be honest Dax, if you're stumped, I don't know of anyone else on this station that can help. You're the science officer after all."

"Yes, but maybe they can give us a clue as to why we're *here*, and why now." Julian nodded in agreement and they settled on talking to the O'Brien's about it after dinner.

*******

"Julian! Jadzia! What can I do for you?"

Julian smiled at his friend. "We need to talk to you and Keiko. There's something you should know."

Miles' eyes widened. "Alright. Come in." He stepped aside and let them enter. Jadzia sank down on the couch looking distraught. Miles tugged Julian aside. "What's going on?" he hissed.

Julian glanced at him, stunned. "What do you mean?" he asked carefully.

"Did the two of you have another fight?"

Julian sighed. "No. I..."

"Julian?" Dax turned to look at them. Julian smiled slightly and walked over. Miles sank down opposite them as Keiko walked in the living room, smiling. Her smile vanished as she saw the somber couple and Miles sitting there. "Hello Julian. Jadzia."

"What's going on?" Miles asked bluntly as Keiko sat next to him.

Julian glanced at Jadzia. "I don't exactly know how to say this," he began, slowly, hoping she would jump in.

"Julian?" Miles started, staring at the couple. "What is wrong."

"Well," Dax jumped in. "We weren't sure if we wanted to do this but we decided it would help."

"Oh, no," Keiko whispered. "Don't tell me you two...." She trailed off. Miles looked stunned. "What brought this on?"

Julian hesitated. "We can't think of anything else to do. It's a last resort."

"I had no idea things were so bad between the two of you," Keiko whispered.

"What?" Jadzia said, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

Keiko glanced at Miles, wondering if she misinterpreted something. "Well, from the sound of things, I...assumes you were talking about your recent problems."

"How did you know..." Julian's eyes widened in realization. "You mean our 'marital' problems?"

"Yes. Isn't that we were talking about."

"No!" they both exclaimed. Miles and Keiko looked relieved. "At least not directly," Julian smiled. He quickly explained things to them as best he could as Jadzia jumped in occasionally filling in gaps.

"Are you telling me that the two of you were transported about seven years into the future after the Battle of Daraith?" Miles said after a moment of shocked silence. Julian nodded. "And you have no idea what caused this?"

"That's right," Jadzia said.

The O'Brien's sat back in unison, shocked. "Why are you telling us?" Keiko asked.

"Because we're stumped. We need to get back but we have no idea how we got here, much less how to get back." Julian glanced at Jadzia. She smiled slightly and gently touched his hand.

Miles got up and began to pace. "There haven't been *any* anomalies of any kind for days. Weeks even."

Julian arched an eyebrow sarcastically. "Well, then something is definitely wrong." Miles grinned briefly. "So what can we do?" he asked.

"Well, I've only heard of this happening in the reverse but it sounds like if you complete whatever you were brought here to do, you'll be sent back."

"Great," Julian muttered, dejectedly. "Back to square one. How are we supposed to know what we're supposed to do?"

"I'd say you just act like you normally do and you'll know when the time comes," Keiko said.

Julian glanced at her skeptically. "If we acted like we normally did, we'd be in separate quarters, remember?"

Keiko frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

Julian cut her off, looking abashed. "I'm sorry Keiko. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

She smiled understandingly. "No need to apologize. You're under a lot of stress." Julian smiled slightly and felt Dax's hand tighten in his. "Maybe you could tell us what things have been like, uh, between us lately," Dax suggested.

Miles stopped pacing. "Not that great," he admitted.

Dax glanced down, mildly ashamed. "Yes, we've been reading our personal log entries." Julian gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders, his face concerned. "What about what has been happening politically?" she said.

Miles took a deep breath. "Well, let's see. After the attack on the Defiant, Star Fleet decided it was time to retaliate. Bajor signed the nonaggression treaty with the Dominion at Captain Sisko's request. Things were very tense here. To be honest, Dax, I don't blame you for not dealing with Worf's death. You didn't have time. Anyways, after things were settled with that and Star Fleet managed to defeat the dominion, Bajor broke their treaty and joined the Federation. After that, things calmed somewhat in the sector. There really hasn't been much politically happening. Not that things haven't been busy here."

Julian nodded quietly. "So, if Bajor joined the Federation, what are we still doing here? Not to be blunt but...."

Miles smiled. "They requested that Star Fleet personnel stay on. When they said that, we all happily requested to stay. Anyways, given that things are calm here, I'd wager that the reason you're here is personal...." Dax smiled sadly. Miles hesitated a moment and glanced at Keiko. She nodded at his unspoken request and stood. "Dax, why don't we go for a walk...." Dax smiled slightly and gave Julian's hand a tender squeeze before getting up and walking out with Keiko. Miles glanced at his friend. "So, you're telling me that you two were brought forward from a time where you weren't even dating to a point where you're married and have a kid?" He grinned openly. "You must be in heaven."

Julian bit back his laughter. "You didn't say happily married," he said, trying to stay on topic.

Miles sighed and shook his head. "Well, you were. Things have never been this bad. I don't know why this is happening all of a sudden. Dax has always been a bit moody around this time of year but the two of you have never fought like this before."

Julian sighed. "Earlier, when Jadzia and I first arrived, what did you and Keiko assume we were talking about?"

Miles started and glanced at his folded hands. "Well, to be honest, we both assumed you were talking about divorce. Or at least a separation."

Julian's eyes widened. "Things are that bad?" Miles nodded. Julian slowly shook his head. "I can't believe that. Seven years ago, I would have given anything for this to happen and now I find out I'm going to throw it away." He stood up and walked over to the replicator. "Synthale," he said, glumly.

"Look, Julian. I don't exactly know what's going on. And, no offense, I don't understand why this time is so important. You'll just have to find out for yourselves."

Julian nodded and took a sip of his drink. "I know. It just seems wrong."

"It is," Miles said. "The two of you should be together."

Julian smiled. "Glad to hear someone else say it."

Miles smiled and they sat quietly for a moment. "So," he said. "Exactly when did you arrive?"

Julian paused. "Three days ago. Around one a.m." Julian smiled slightly, remembering exactly how they arrived.

"I don't want to know why you just grinned like that," Miles commented idly.

Julian chuckled and shook his head. "Good, because I don't plan on telling you."

"The two of you seem to be pretty, um, close," he said. "Gotten used to acting like you're married, huh?" Julian smiled and simply sipped his drink. "Or not," Miles said, leaning forward. "Go on."

*******

Keiko gazed at the despondent Trill. "Dax, what's wrong? It just can't be what's happening."

"No, it's what has happened between Julian and myself. Or our future selves." Dax glanced at the walls of the quarters she shared with Julian. "I've, we've," she corrected, "become very close in the last two days before finding out exactly what was going on." Dax took a deep breath. "I guess, after getting to know Julian better, I can't believe things could have gotten this bad between us. If it were me in this situation, I'd be holding on with both hands." Dax smiled shyly. "He's a wonderful man...."

Keiko smiled. "You know, you said that same thing about six years ago when the two of you got engaged." Keiko leaned forward. "Maybe that's why you're here. Bluntly put, Dax, the two of you were meant to be together. Maybe you two were brought here to work things out."

Dax smiled. "It's an incredibly romantic notion, Keiko but what are two people in the great scheme of things?"

"Everything," Keiko said firmly. "One person can affect many. Something might happen if your marriage falls apart. Or, maybe it's not you but Lysa. A divorce can have incredible effects on a child. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Dax nodded slowly. "I suppose. But what are we supposed to do?"

"Bring back some of the old flame," Keiko smiled. "When the two of you were dating and first married, people used to joke that there was enough electricity between the two of you to light up all of Bajor." Dax flushed slightly but nodded.

*******

Julian walked back to his quarters after Keiko had returned saying that Dax was already back there. He knew the two of them had a lot to discuss now. He opened the door and walked in and froze. Dax was standing near the table, lighting some candles, dressed in a deep blue nightgown. Julian's eyes widened as he took in the scene. "Jadzia? What...?"

She smiled and moved towards him with a grace that startled Julian more. "Keiko and I had a long talk and we decided that, if we wanted to put things right, a romantic evening would be a good start."

Julian gazed around the candlelit room. "Where's Lysa?" he asked.

"At the babysitters for the evening," Dax replied, slipping her arms around him.

Julian gazed at her, still trying to assimilate this change. "Are you just doing this for the sake of getting back...home?"

Dax smiled at him in a way that made the hair at the back of his neck stand up in delight. "Yes," she murmured. "Because the sooner we get back, the sooner we can move forward to this." Her eyes smiled at him. "Because I want this more than anything." She kissed him tenderly, running her hands down his back. Julian closed his eyes and pulled her close. They started to navigate their way to the bedroom, Jadzia's hands making quick work of his clothes when the comm chirped. He pulled away, breathlessly. "Of all the...Bashir here." Dax was still pressed close to him, making it hard for him to concentrate.

"Sorry to interrupt doctor. There's an incoming message for you from your parents."

"Is it urgent?"

There was a pause then "No, it's not."

"Tell them I'll return the call tomorrow." Jadzia grinned at him and kissed him.

"Of course Doctor. Keller out."

"Mmph," Julian said, cutting the connection. Dax pulled back and giggled. "Well, if there was any question as to why you weren't going to take the call now, that pretty much answered it."

Julian laughed and pulled her close. "Can you blame me?" he murmured, kissing her neck gently.

"Not one bit," she whispered, leaning against him.

Chapter 6

Julian walked into the infirmary the next morning. 'Thank god today I start later than normal,' he thought, grinning at the not so distant memory of last night...and this morning. He paused and quickly checked with one of the nurses as to today's schedule and went in his office and called his parents.

After a brief conversation, Julian leaned back and stretched slightly. He then got up and walked to the patient area to set up for the first appointment. Just as he was finishing up, Miles walked in. "Miles," Julian smiled. "What can I do for you?"

Miles grinned. "I just wanted to know how things are going after our talk last night."

Julian matched his grin. "Just fine. But you should know that. Your wife had her hands in what happened."

Miles laughed softly. "Yes, I know. After you left, she told me all about what Dax was planning..."

Julian shook his head ruefully. "Chief, is there a medical problem I can help you with?" he said, trying to change the subject, feeling his staff's gaze at the back of his neck.

O'Brien nodded and motioned to his elbow. "Acting up again," he explained.

Julian nodded, grateful for a change of topic.

*******

Dax practically bounced into Ops, startling the crew. She knew her other self must have been pretty moody for them to be so shocked to see her in such high spirits. She smiled at the stunned ensign she was to replace as she slid into her seat at the science console. Kira stepped out of the lift a few minutes later and stopped at the sight of Dax studying the readouts, practically humming out loud. Kira also noticed that Dax was using her left hand more than her right and making drastic sweeping motions with it. 'She hasn't done that in...years.' Kira thought, catching the glint of light as the diamond on Jadzia's engagement ring sparkled. Kira walked over cautiously. "Dax?"

Dax glanced up, smiling. "Yes, Major?" she asked, cheerfully.

Kira's eyebrows shot through the roof. "Can I talk to you? In private?"

"Of course Major," Dax smiled. They walked into Sisko's office and Dax turned to Kira. "What is it, Nerys?"

"What is wrong with you? Did you and Julian have another fight?" Kira asked, flabbergasted at her friend's behavior.

"No," Dax smiled, blushing '*Blushing*!!?' slightly. "The opposite, actually."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "Oh. And what brought this about?"

Dax raised her eyebrow, mimicking her. "I simply realized that I've been acting horribly lately...and why I've been in such a bad mood." Dax sobered up a bit. "I also realized what it was doing to Julian and me...I don't want to lose him, Nerys."

Kira gazed at her, stunned. "I...Wow. This is quite a turnabout."

Dax's smile turned wry. "I know I've been a pain lately. And I know that my not dealing with... certain things had almost destroyed what I had...have with Julian."

Kira grinned openly. "I'm glad to hear things are starting to work out between the two of you. Everyone was somewhat worried that..."

"We wouldn't make it?" Dax finished.

Kira nodded. "Something like that," she admitted.

Dax nodded and glanced out the doors. "If that's all, major, I've got a lot of work to catch up on." Kira nodded and the two of them walked out.

*******

Dax strode in the doors to their quarters. "Hello!" she called.

"Mommy!!!" Lysa tore out of her bedroom and wrapped her thin arms around Dax's legs. Jadzia smiled and reached down and picked her up as the baby-sitter walked out. "Hello, little one. Were you good?"

"As always," the sitter replied, smiling. Dax smiled and nodded at her. "Thank you for everything. Especially last night."

"Oh, it was no problem. She's so good and, if you don't mind me saying so, you and the doctor needed some time alone."

Dax smiled and nodded. The woman walked out just as Julian walked in. He smiled and greeted as he passed her. "Daddy!!" Lysa squirmed in Jadzia's arms and she set her down. The little girl ran over to Julian and he scooped her up. "Hello, love," he said cheerfully, giving her a hug and a kiss. He glanced at Dax,who was smiling at them. Julian set Lysa down, who bounced off to her room. "Hello," he smiled, wrapping his arms around her. Dax smiled and slid her arms around his waist. "Hello," she replied, pressing close to him. Julian kissed her happily and felt her return it just as joyfully. They pulled apart after a long moment and Dax smiled. "Quite a change from two days ago," she murmured.

Julian smiled. "I know." He leaned forward and mock whispered, "I like you better this way." Dax laughed and pulled away as Lysa ran back out of her room, her hands full of drawings. She shook her head. "Why don't you walk?" she suggested, mildly sarcastic. Lysa skidded to a halt and slowly walked the rest of the way, matching her mother's tone with her actions. Julian struggled not to laugh as he walked into the bedroom. Dax smiled at him and then glanced at Lysa. "Did you draw all these?" she asked in mock shock. Lysa nodded proudly and started to explain each drawing in detail. Dax sat and patiently listened.

*******

Later that evening the couple was relaxing in the living room, talking quietly. "So," Dax said. "How exactly do we go about repairing our marriage?"

Julian rested his head against the back of the couch. "Well, I'd say we got off to a pretty good start," he smiled. He heard Jadzia stifle her laughter as she gently elbowed him in the ribs. "I don't know," he admitted. "I mean, if we really want things to work, we have to find the root of the problem and fix that, not just gloss over things."

Dax sighed softly. "We already know the root of the problem," she whispered.

Julian lifted his head and gazed at her. "Jadzia," he said softly, "don't blame this all on yourself."

"Why not?" she asked, gazing back at him. "We both know it was my...inability to deal with Worf's death that brought us to where we are." She shook her head. "And how can I work past something that isn't a reality for me anyhow," she groused. She felt Julian's gaze on her. She glanced at him and saw a light in his eye that told her he had an idea...and that she might not like it. "What?" she asked warily.

*******

Jadzia stepped into the holosuite with Julian and Miles. "Are you sure this will work?" she asked.

"Absolutely. After the battle, Star Fleet Medical's psychiatric department had a simulation put together to see how such a situation affects...." his voice trailed off as he caught a glare from Julian. "Uh, in any case, you'll only be a omniscient witness. You'll see what's happening, but you won't be able to interact with anything." He glanced at Julian again and quickly excused himself.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked quietly, gently taking her hand.

Dax tossed him an incredulous look. "This was your suggestion!" she exclaimed.

Julian nodded. "I know, I just..." He was cut off as Dax kissed him quickly. "I'm sure," she whispered. Julian smiled and kissed her again before walking out. Dax sighed and turned back towards the far wall. "Computer, begin program." Immediately, she was surrounded by the familiar lines of the Defiant's bridge. She was startled to see herself at the helm but she recovered quickly. Miles said he had programed this specially but really...!' She could hear Worf recording a log entry and then saw Julian enter. She heard his brief, one-sided banter with Worf and then the call for Worf to go down to Engineering. Worf left. Dax glanced around as she saw herself take command and talk briefly with Julian. She heard a proximity sensor go off and both their attention snapped forward.

"A Jem'Hadar warship is heading this way," the ensign announced. She studied the readout for a moment. "They're scanning us."

"Dax to Worf," her doppleganger called out. "Please report back up to...."

"They're powering up weapons!"

"Red alert!" She saw Julian headed towards the turbolift as the Defiant shook violently.

Suddenly, she was in engineering. Dax whirled about and saw Worf standing near a panel as the Defiant rocked. The panel he was working at exploded in his face.

"NO!" she shrieked and ran forward, forgetting that she couldn't do anything. She dropped next to Worf's side and reached for a pulse as an ensign ran over with a tricorder. She saw him scan Worf and the small machine emitted the horrid sound it made when the person was beyond hope. Dax felt tears well up as the ensign closed the tricorder, shaking his head, looking visibly stunned and sick at the sight of Worf's burnt figure. "No," she hissed and reached for Worf's hand. "I'm sorry. There wasn't anything I could do...."

She was suddenly back on the bridge watching a similar scene play out. A panel just to her right exploded, injuring the officer that occupied that spot. Bashir grabbed an emergency medkit as she heard her image call out a command for evasive maneuvers. The command was answered with the ensign's alarmed voice ring out saying that three more ships were on a direct course. Julian treated the fallen man's burns and stood as the Defiant rocked again. And again.

"The other three ships are firing!" the ensign shouted.

"Get us out of here!" came the exclamation. The ensign started to comply when another shot slammed into the ship. Panels all around the bridge exploded, one behind Julian. Dax watched horrified as he was thrown forward by the blast and slammed against the deck. She moved forward again, panic stricken. She watched as he pulled himself up, wincing and vomiting from the pain. She could see he had been severely injured. Dax dropped next to him, her hands moving forward to push him back down. She could still hear fires blazing around the bridge. He blinked, not seeing her, and looked around. Dax followed his gaze and could see that most of the bridge crew had fallen, including her double. She lay motionless on the floor. Julian immediately began dragging himself to her side, wincing in pain and visibly suppressing the reflex to gag, pulling the medkit with him. Dax followed him. She watched as he glanced up and surveyed the bridge quickly as he reached into the kit for a tricorder. They both realized he was the highest ranking officer standing at the same time. "Report!" he called out as he snapped the tricorder open.

"Four Jem'Hadar warships are surrounding us," came a weak response a few moments later. "We've lost all weapons capability and shields are down to 20%."

Julian studied the readouts on the tricorder Dax saw his eyes widen in fear. "What are the warships doing?" he asked and tapped his commbadge. "Bashir to Sick Bay. Medical personnel needed on the bridge."

"They're just sitting there," came the astonished response.

Julian was fumbling in his medkit for a hypo and glanced up startled. "What's their weapon's status?"

Dax could now see through the smoke and saw that he had a large gash over his left eye that was bleeding profusely. His hands were shaking as he pulled out the hypo he had been searching for. "Julian," she whispered, moving towards him. Her hands brushed across his forehead but he didn't even react. Dax glanced back at her inert form and then at Julian again. He was blinking rapidly, trying to clear his vision.

"On standby." The smoke on the bridge had cleared enough for her to see the female lieutenant j.g. at the helm more clearly. Her face was bloody from a large gash over her eyebrow. Her expression was one of shock. An alert went off on her board and she glanced at it. As she saw the readout, she smiled slightly. "Six Klingon warships that were at the station are on their way. The Jem'Hadar are leaving!"

Julian had been busy trying to stabilize Jadzia. Dax could see the readout on the tricorder and she could see her vital signs slowly falling. He tapped his commbadge and injected a hypo. "Bashir to Worf. Report to the bridge." There was no response. Dax felt a hollow pain in her chest at the silence and tears welled up again. She saw Julian swallowed hard as he monitored her readouts. Nothing he did was working. Dax could see her pulse had dropped to 30 bpm and her blood pressure was almost non-existent. "No," she heard him hiss and he reach into the medkit again to pulled out another hypo of cordrazine. He coughed and wiped at the blood on his forehead and injected the hypo, his hand shaking as he did so. A shrill alarm came from the tricorder. Julian snapped his attention to it. Her heart had stopped. Dax saw the panic clearly written on his face as he moved to resuscitate her but he was too weak and in pain to move. Dax heard the lift doors open and a med team rushed out as he slipped into unconsciousness. She watched as they began to treat him and her.

She was in Engineering again. Dax turned and saw a med team move towards where Worf lay on the ground. She watched as a medic opened a tricorder and glance at the results. His head snapped up and looked at the ensign who had first rushed over. "Why didn't you call for medical assistance?"

The ensign paled. "He had already died," he began to protest.

"This was your commanding officer. And do you have the proper medical training to make such a diagnosis?" The medic glared at him before delivering the final blow. "We might have been able to save him had you called immediately."

Dax froze. "What?" she whispered. "You mean..." Her gaze landed on the horrified ensign. "You let him die?" she gasped, moving forward, feeling her pain turn to undirected fury. She didn't even realize that she had moved through the simulated diagnostic table on her path to the ensign. "You let him DIE!" she cried as she slammed a fist into his face. The young man didn't even flinch. Dax whirled, looking for something to hit that would react. Her gaze landed on Worf's still form and her anger dissipated as quickly as it started. "Oh, gods," she gasped, slowly sinking to the floor. She felt tears streak down her cheeks and she began to sob.

Chapter 7

Julian glanced at the chronometer on the wall. Jadzia had been in the holosuites for almost forty-five minutes. He glanced across the way at O'Brien. "Maybe I should go check on her," he said softly.

Miles shook his head, taking a sip of his ale. "Nah. Let her work through this on her own."

"But that doesn't make sense," Julian protested. "She and I have to work through this together."

Miles glanced at him and slowly nodded. "You're right. Alright. Go ahead. The program should have run its course by now anyhow." Julian nodded and practically ran across Quark's to the stairs that let to the holosuites. He charged up the stairs, taking them two at a time and ran down the hall to the doors. He tapped in a code and walked in. He froze just inside the door. He was in the Defiant's engine room and could hear angry voices and sobbing coming from one corner. With the sounds came the unmistakable odor of charred flesh. He turned and saw a medic chewing out an ensign and Dax curled up on the floor sobbing. Julian darted over, glancing at the vague shape under a medical blanket, knowing who was under it. "Jadzia," he whispered, dropping next to her. She glanced up at him and collapsed into his arms. He held her, gently stroking her hair. "Computer, end program," he whispered and the scene disappeared. After several minutes, she began to calm down. He waited several minutes after her crying had tapered into jagged breaths and sniffling before asking, "What happened?"

Dax closed her eyes and shook her head. "There wasn't anything I could have done. I can see that now. But...the medic said that if the ensign had immediately called for help, they might have been able to save him."

Julian gently pulled back. "Jadzia, I looked at the reports. There was a very, *very* slim chance that Worf would have survived if he had gotten immediate medical attention." He saw her face crumple and he pulled her close again. "I know, it doesn't make anything better."

Dax closed her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Julian pulled back and tenderly brushed his fingers across her cheek. "For what?" he asked quietly.

"For driving you crazy these last couple of months...years." She sniffed and took another jagged breath. "I almost destroyed our marriage just because I was too stubborn to take your advice all those years ago and actually mourn Worf's death."

Julian smiled affectionately and held her chin in both hands. "Jadzia, I knew back then that you wouldn't. I also knew that you weren't ready to. I would have never let our marriage fall apart because of that because I knew that you would have eventually come to terms with this. Granted it took a bit longer than I expected, but...." Jadzia laughed a bit, a tear running down her cheek. He smiled back and kissed her. He felt her lean into the kiss and he smiled inwardly. It had been a long time since they had been alone like this. Julian pulled back and nuzzled her. "We still have about an hour or so left in our reservation," he murmured against her neck.

Dax smiled and shook her head. "Gods I've missed you," she murmured, wrapping her arms around him. "I still can't believe you put up with me."

Julian smiled. "I can be a very patient person when I put my mind to it." Dax laughed between tears and kissed him again.

******* <Stardate 50937.1>

Julian jerked awake gasping. He was immediately rewarded with nauseating pain running through his body.

"Doctor. You finally decided to join the land of the living." Julian opened his eyes, glancing up. He realized he was in the Infirmary and the events of the battle came rushing back to him. "Where's Jadzia?" he croaked out, his throat parched from the painkillers.

"Doctor, you still need to rest. You've been unconscious for 26 hours and you of all people should know that you require rest."

"No," he gasped, struggling to sit up again, ignoring the pain as best he could. "Jadzia. Did she make it? Her heart...."

The nurse firmly pressed him back. "Doctor, you need your rest. Do I have to administer a sedative?"

Julian shook his head, swallowing hard. 'Why isn't she telling me anything. Gods, she can't be...no. She had to have made it. I'm almost positive the medical assistance I called for arrived just as I blacked out. She's not dead.' He felt his heart seize the moment he thought the word. He closed his eyes and drifted off.

*******

<Stardate 58135.2>

Julian glanced over at Jadzia. She was across the boardroom talking with Captain Sisko. She caught his eye and winked at him, smiling gently. Julian grinned back and glanced around. Liberation Day again. 'I remember the one seven years ago...' He allowed himself to reminisce a bit before the Kai's speech.

Jadzia glanced in Julian's direction again and felt her heart swell. 'Gods I love him. And to think it's only been seven years since he first told me he loved me.' Dax smiled slightly. 'How ironic that he had important news for me then and now there's something I have to tell him....After Quark's dance. By the viewport.' She grinned broadly and turned back to her conversation.

*******

Julian wrapped his arms around her, listening to the song that was playing. Quark's was packed, as it always was on Liberation Day. Julian gazed at Jadzia and smiled at her. She smiled back and kissed him tenderly. The music came to an end and the parted, clapping politely. The song was immediately followed by another slow number and they sank into eachothers arms again. Dax listened for a moment, trying to place it. The lyrics stunned her.

"Here I stand so patiently for your lights to shine on me;
For your song inside of me; this we bring to you.
In the shadow of love time goes by leaving me helpless.
Just to reach and try to live my life, these are my reasons.
So here we stand so patiently for your song inside of me;
For your lights to shine on me; this we bring to you...."

Dax glanced back at Julian who was smiling slightly. "Did you request this?" she asked quietly, pressing closer to him.

Julian smiled. "And if I did?"

Dax kissed him tenderly. "I love you," she murmured after pulling back.

Julian smiled. "That's my line," he whispered teasingly. Dax laughed softly and kissed him again. After the song, she pulled him off the floor and out of Quark's. "What?" he protested. "They're playing 'Moonlight Serenade!' You love Glenn Miller."

"I know. I just wanted some fresh air." Julian smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked a short distance away to the port. Dax gazed out the window as Julian stopped behind her. He grinned. "Our old haunt," he murmured, wrapped his arms around her waist. Dax smiled and leaned back into his arms. "Have you ever had the sense of extreme de ja vu?" he teased, kissing the nape of her neck. Dax giggled and turned. "Yes, except it's my turn to tell you something."

Julian gazed at her, suddenly serious. "What?" he asked quietly. Things had been much better between them since she had finally put Worf's death behind her but things were far from perfect. Although it had been the main cause, there had been a lot of things said and a lot of feelings dredged up that they were still working through.

Dax smiled demurely at him. "Well, there's no subtle way to put this now." She reached up and brushed his cheek with her hand. "I'm pregnant," she smiled.

Julian froze. "What?" he gasped. "Are you sure?" Dax nodded, her eyes glowing. Julian hesitated a split second more and then grinned broadly. "Oh, love! When did you find out? And how did you manage to keep it from me as I'm your doctor?"

Dax laughed softly. "I've known for two days but I kept quiet because I wanted to tell you tonight. You're not the only one who's sentimental, although it was sheer torture not telling you. As for how you didn't know, well, you're not the only one who can work a tricorder."

Julian laughed and swung her around. "This is wonderful news! How many months?" His eyes glinted excitedly.

"Two." She smiled as he picked her up in a bear hug again. "Does Lysa know?" he asked into her hair.

Dax laughed loudly. "If *I* could barely keep quiet, do you think a three year old could?"

Julian laughed as he set her down. "You're right. Should we tell her tonight?"

Dax's eyes smiled at him. "She's probably already asleep." Julian smiled back and kissed her tenderly. Dax smiled and sank against him, not caring that almost everyone on the Promenade was watching. In the background, she could hear music filtering out from Quark's. She instantly recognized it as "Why Can't This Night Go On Forever." She had requested it that first time, seven years ago. She had never told him that....

*******

<Stardate 50963.5>

Julian sat on his bed in his room. He had been released on his own recognizance to his quarters. However, the entire medical staff had been put on alert that he was not to return to the Infirmary unless he was in need of medical assistance. He assumed they had his bio signs being monitored also. He sighed and glanced at the computer, trying to get his thoughts into order to record a log entry. After a moment, he began.

**"Personal log, stardate 50963.5. I'm finally beginning to get some answers around here. When I first regained consciousness, no one would tell me anything. Whether they expected me to want to report back for duty if they told me, I don't know. To be honest, I don't think I would have wanted to. It's been over a week since the attack on the Defiant but it still hurts just to move around.

"I did find out, however, that the Defiant wasn't damaged beyond repair. The Chief is still working on it around the clock, though. The weapons system needed to be completely replaced and several other systems needed to be overhauled.

"I also found out that out of a crew of 50 people, 20 are dead and 15 more severely wounded. All that from a few strikes. Among the dead, however, is Commander Worf. However, Jadzia survived. Just as I passed out, the medical assistance I had called for arrived and managed to resuscitate her. I haven't seen her since the attack. I believe she's still in the infirmary. My assistant says that, when she found out two days ago that Worf had been killed, she had become very quiet. As of my last talk, I guess she's still rather uncommunicative, speaking only when spoken directly to. She's presently seeing the councilor, though. I just wish I could be there for her. There had been rumors floating around that Worf was considering proposing to her....I can't imagine how she must feel.

"I keep replaying what happened over again in my mind and I thank all the gods in the universe that she's alive, however. I can't imagine what this station would be like without her. Every time I imagine that she had been killed instead of Worf, it makes me almost physically ill.

"That's the thing that scares me the most, though, the severity of my reactions. If we are only good friends, which I've told myself over and over, why does the thought of living without her make me want to curl up and die? I've had a week to think about this and the only reason that I can come up with is that I care more for her than I ever thought was possible. However, I don't dare talk to her about how I feel. I love her."**

*FIN*

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